Welcome to my Exodus

Moving On

2010-01-21T22:36:00.003+08:00

Well, all good things must come to an end. Literally. LOL. Okay, I decided to scrap the idea of having 2 blogs at one time as sometimes I will be torn between using which site. So, I officially announce that this 280th post will be my final post on Blogger. This site will still remain but I will be posting at Tumblr so people, please update your bookmarks. You know who you are. LOL. So see you all there.

http://protectedbygrace.tumblr.com

Are You Satisfied?

2010-01-12T10:48:00.003+08:00

Congratulations to those who did well with their O Level papers. For those who didn't, work harder this year. I feel that a second chance is fair to everyone.

Well, I believe anyone could have done his/her best so you got the results of your hard work. It may not look satisfactory to many but rest assured that you had done your best. Even if you burn the midnight oil or you had long prepared. I hope everyone is contented with their results.

This paragraph is for you and I hope you will see it. I know that you had high expectations of yourself but in frank, you did really well. Sometimes, like you said, people can be quite subjective. It's disheartening to be put down by your strongest subject but at least you are not far from your goal. Look at your friends or people around you. They are pretty much contented and satisfied with what they have. Even for Joseph. Like he told me yesterday, he had done his best and he feels that life must go on. I believe he will pick himself up in a later phase of life but for you, life is beginning. You can make choices, be it your studies or your personal life. You should know what I mean.

People are definitely luckier than me in the past. I believe I won't be the same if I can make choices back then.

Tumblr

2010-01-07T18:43:00.002+08:00

Oh, in case I forget again, I do blog on Tumblr nowadays. When after being introduced by the peeps at work, I feel it doesn't hurt to have a 3rd social networking account after Friendster and Facebook. So add me at http://protectedbygrace.tumblr.com.

I will still blog on Blogger. My posts on Tumblr will be pretty random. So see you there.

In Love With My Modem

2010-01-07T18:39:00.001+08:00

Well, if anyone's wondering why I wasn't online last night, my internet was down. I called up M1 this morning and got their technician to come and troubleshoot.

When the techinician came, I told him what happened. He turned on my modem and saw the problem. Then he proceeded on to remove my splitter and reconnect my modem to the cable point directly. Then he said that he need to observe the modem for a while. It was actually working at that point. Minutes past and he was still stoned at my modem. He picked up a few calls and answered some messages in the duration though. And I was standing beside him. Pondering on why he was not even responding, I asked what was to be done. He finally answered that he needed to reconnect my splitter to test again. He did that and my problem was back.

I was very irritated when the loss of connection happened so I was rather sarcastic. And I think the technician was trying his best to avoid my wrath. After testing my splitter, he took out a new splitter and hooked it up with my cable point. He was squatting and looking at the modem. It was able to connect to the internet but he was still looking at the modem. So, I went over to sit down on a chair and waited while looking at him with a pissed look. I said nothing this time round and minutes past. He took a few quick glances at me. Soon, he was rocking due to tireness and he finally spoke that it was my splitter's fault. He removed his splitter and advised me to purchase a better one. Then he left.

He actually spent a hour at my place when he could have done so in a fraction of the original time. I am beginning to regret jumping ship to M1 already...

A Great Start

2010-01-01T19:11:00.003+08:00

Well, thanks to the eyeful I got from Stanley and CP, I feel so motivated! I'm going to put them as my role models and try to achieve the target I set for me.

Big plans are definitely coming my way and by the way, I'm typing this on my iPod Touch. Woohoo, no nasty people on the new year day! Lol!

A Glance At 2009

2009-12-31T20:04:00.002+08:00

Well, it's moments before the clock strikes 12. A new year is waiting for us to explore and expect. 2009 has been a wonderful and emotional year for me.

I should start with the happy things first though. Well, I see my friends being successful in all aspects of life. Some of them got married, some had offsprings and some enjoyed their first times at certain things. For me, well, I got myself in a job where I see all kinds of people and have to undergo tedious conditions. Well, I didn't get myself into trouble but let's just say I see the ugly sides of people all the while. Through this job, I met all kinds of interesting people. I even found one person who shares the same thinking as me and I believe he trust me on that. Then i learnt a new friend whom we appreciate each other's accompany. Things at home were normal although there was a nasty start. Those I knew started a new phase of life like being in love, learning new friends and enjoying something that's called puberty. Things got better for me at the end of the year as there were changes in many aspects. For example, we started to look at things differently and learnt to move on individually.

As for the sad part, I'm glad that things got resolved at the end. I appreciate your forgiveness. As for others, someone has to undergo several heart wrenching events like having to forsake everything here to start a new life elsewhere. And it doesn't end there. For both of you, I believe both of you had done your best and your consciences are clear. If they doesn't appreciate the godsend both of you had given them, then it's their losses. It will be wise to move on and forget. I know it hurts but time will wash away everything. Both of you should know this well by now.

Things should look even better in the new year as I found motivation to achieve something I had been delaying for a long while. Let's hope I can achieve that before that dreaded day comes. Changes are needed to be done. And this time round, nothing's going to stop me......hopefully. LOL.

Since it's only 2 more years left for us to enjoy so let's learn to appreciate things that are existent around us. So here's wishing all a Happy New Year!!!

Merry Christmas To All

2009-12-25T18:41:00.002+08:00

Hi, I know I posted this a bit late as I am recovering from fatigue...I slept for a long while. But here's wishing all my friends Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Thanks for the invite for the gathering yesterday. I feel contented already. Hope everyone's okay...as I kinda pay a visit to the toilet after coming back home...LOL.

Avatar

2009-12-22T01:52:00.002+08:00

I just came back from a great show. Caught the movie at AMK Hub with the guys. I was embarrased since I was late for dinner when I was supposed to be the closest. LOL. We were talking and planning for our trip to Australia next year. Well, if anyone's available of course.

To talk about the film, it is indeed a masterpiece from James Cameron. Visually stunning and spectacular. Great use of computer graphics, motion capturing and facial capturing. Actually, at some closeup shots, I thought I was looking at the real life actors. They even paid attention to Jake's disability. Sam Worthington's legs were animated to look skinny like someone who lost his mobility would. The only downside has to be its very predictable plot. Technology versus nature. Losing humanity to be free and to be with the one he loves. But I kinda like the idea about things have to be linked to be as one. Even riding a horse needs a link. Not much funny scenes though. The only that got us crackling has to be the semi-nude scene and Jake went on to step on someone's tail. Just a rant though, why does the creatures has double limbs? They look like the normal animals except they have extra limbs or eyes. Seems like a weak attempt to design a new creature.

Finally, anyone who wants to watch it, please clear your bladder before entering the theatre. It's quite a long movie yet not draggy. Fast paced, exciting and beautiful sceneries. And of course, the soundtrack is great too. Very emotional at times too. Well, in short, don't miss it. LOL.

Because You're Here

2009-12-20T02:10:00.002+08:00

You suddenly said, “You can cry if you want”
Somehow it made me happy, instead of tears I smiled
My words were so clumsy, they hurt you
But I don’t want you to leave me, I want you to stay beside me always

Wishes and dreams, I want to come true
The feelings I wish I could tell you
A miracle created from the things I’ve always believed in
Is connecting us to the future
Always, I always want you to watch over me
Dear My Friend

You said, on leaving “You’ll be able to do it”
The loneliness I felt was wiped clean with those words
I’m opening a new door, anyone would be frightened
But all I have to do is to remember you and strength flows through me

I won’t give up my feelings
If I can give a voice to all these words
Then the future will open up wide
Because you're always, always in my heart
Dear My Friend

-Interlude-

I vow that
No matter if I stop or if I forget
I will keep moving forward
Light is shining down, when I look up at the sky
Until the day when I can see you again

I won’t give up my feelings
If I can give a voice to all these words
Then the future will open up wide
Wishes and dreams, I want to come true
The feelings I wish I could tell you
A miracle created from the things I’ve always believed in
Is connecting us to the future
Always, I always want you to watch over me
Dear My Friend

A brand new Final Fantasy has arrived. From a glance, it has quite a interesting plot and as usual, the music for the game is excellent. Although the theme song may sound weak but as you listen for long, it tends to build on you. "Kiss Me Goodbye" remains as my favourite Final Fantasy song. This theme song is sung by a newcomer called Sayuri Sugawara and I could say it's remarkable for a young teen like her. On the song itself, I rather believe it's a song about friendship rather than the old love ballads. Some parts of the lyrics are meaningful like the words that we use to encourage those around us, be it lost in love or having a bad time.

I really wish I have a PS3 now. LOL. The game looks pretty decent and awesome to start. Should I really buy a console for a game? Speaking of game, I reinstalled Left 4 Dead just in case anyone want to play along. I can always install it back if I like to even if it's uninstalled.

Christmas is coming closer. Will Santa grant my humble wish? LOL.

Fragments

2009-12-15T10:14:00.002+08:00

I met a couple of interesting people during the past few weeks. Like a taxi driver which surprised me by his open views on everything in life and even living in Singapore.

Seriously, it started with just talking about Somerset 313 then it expanded. To most people, they complained almost about anything the government had done. Like the taxes and the ERP. But this guy was complimenting the ways the government had done to make this country a safe place to live in. I shared with his thoughts. Indeed, although the standard of living is high but we got by peacefully, don't we? No wars, riots, terrorist attacks or protests. Well, maybe most who think that it's rather that the people themselves can't oppose the government. Think about it. If one day, the opposition party gets the reins of managing Singapore, will they be able to maintain the current situation? He also said that we should be contented with all we have and cherish those around us. A interesting quote by him is that if you win a lottery, your friends should be happy for you rather than asking for treats from you. I would think what he meant was that friends should not take each other for granted. Friendship is established by mutual trust and not by materialistic means.

Another person to take note of is this valet working at Somerset 313. Just like ION Orchard, there are people helping you to board your car or taxi. I took cabs from Somerset 313 so this guy recognised me. But what impressed me was his devotion to his job. He was constantly monitoring the roads for any incoming taxis and running around the pickup point opening doors and bidding goodbyes. He looks like a stouty 50 year old to me but his passion for his job overwhelmed me.

Speaking of job, I really wanna talk about my colleague. If you ever read this, it meant to be constructive. You know I meant you no harm. LOL. He's really a interesting person to work with and many thanks to you for trusting me. He's definitely improving although he is still slow at times. A great buddy to talk with and his frankness is so affectious. I would really say he's down-to-earth and innocent at times. I will definitely pick up Zombieland and watch soon. He highly recommended it and couldn't stop talking about it. Thanks for being a punching bag for me....your 'abs' really stands out to me. LOL.

To end this, Xmas is around the corner and a new year is coming. Hope everyone will have a pleasant celebration. Well, I was listening to my favourite song and I have to say it has some powerful lyrics. Don't be lost inside your fantasy or you will never wake up from your dream. Step forward and face the world once more.

A Unexpected Hug

2009-11-30T09:31:00.002+08:00

Well, people say a hug is a form of expression of gratitude, love, friendship or a way of saying thanks. But yesterday, I got an unexpected hug from a fellow colleague out of nowhere.

Yesterday, I was popping by at the office and he was inside talking to a fellow colleague about some address issues. I just sat down on a chair and watched them while surfing the net. Then after he was done with his enquiry, he walked over to me and hugged me. I was shocked at that moment and all I did was I hugged him back. After he left the office, I even asked my colleague why did he do that for and all she did was to smile. I seriously do not want to know what went on inside her mind. LOL.

Actually, he's new to the job. And I've been giving him advice and helping him to get settled down as he seems confused at times. So is the hug a way of saying thanks? If so, that was an awkward time to show it. He actually has short term memory and can be extreme at times like going all the way to jolt down the country of the products he was handling. Frankly speaking, he's a nice guy to talk to and even funny to be exact. Don't talk to him in Chinese or you find yourself talking to a mainlander. Haha.

Well, I've not been getting hugs or giving hugs for quite a while. A year back on someone's birthday? Actually, I felt comforted for a while when he hugged me. Amidst all the pain I'm suffering now. Anyone craves for a hug? ^^

14th June 2009

2009-11-25T01:48:00.003+08:00

Well, I guess this post is inspired by Christian's note on Facebook about his loss.

Till now, I could still remember what went on that day. To me, it's something that can't be erased from my mind. I knew they were there and I know they wouldn't make contact with me. Yet, I passed by and took a few glances. From that point, I felt my heart was being stabbed by a thousand needles. I carried on with my work there till I was given time to laze around. So, I simply just walked over to the railings outside the halls and sat there with my head lowered to my knees. I let my tears loose.

Anyone who spotted me could have thought maybe this guy was tired and was taking a short nap. Maybe they could have spotted my teary eyes. But at that point of time, I didn't seem to care much. A lot of things went through my mind. I was thinking about the happy times when nothing happened and everyone was fine with each other. Then the disputes we had till it escalated to the current situation. I was thinking what I had done to deserve all this. Because I'm irritating at times as I cared too much as a friend? All I had done to salvage had gone to waste? I sat there for a long while and my tears went on for a long while too. Later, I went back inside the hall and they weren't inside anymore.

I guess all things do come to an end someday. Love, friendship, family or a human life. But the end also marks a new beginning. New love, new or relinquished friendship, another family or a brand new life. Sometimes, we do find ourselves pondering on past memories. But it will be because we cherish them and they will make us a better person to be.

There is nothing that is impossible. You'll never know unless you try.

2012

2009-11-13T01:14:00.002+08:00

Actually, I was supposed to watch Saw VI which I tactically avoid watching by telling Simon that I don't like to watch movies with no sense and plot. Just like the Final Destination series, most pay to watch people die in all kinds of way. Which occurs to me that it could be quite sadistic. But 2012 is worth the money and every tear I shed. Well, it was much emotionally driving than World Trade Centre for me.

Well, the similarity to a previous end-of-the-world movie, Knowing, is that our great sun gave a very loud fart. Yes, the same global warming but it didn't end like Knowing did. 2012 is based on a much scientific grounds rather than Knowing being a bit supernatural. The sun's fart causes our Earth's core to heat up causing physical changes to our continental plates. Our plates can't hold themselves together anymore and started to shift thus causing massive earthquakes and giant tsunamis. In terms of any disaster movies I watched, this movie gonna be epic for me. Buildings collapsed like they were made of sand. Destruction was inevitable anywhere and everywhere. People being tossed around and killed amidst the chaos. One really awesome part of the movie is that Hamilton and his family managed to escape in a small plane from a collapsing runway and the plane actually flew and avoided collapsing buildings. Then a subway train burst out of its tunnel which was levered to the surface and it flew over the plane and crashed below. Not to mention seeing large gaps in cities and whole areas of land sink.

Now comes the emotional scenes. I swear I could hear a lady behind me sobbing while I was also crying but not to her extent. There's a lot of emotional references like a father and son's last conversation, a father and a daughter's attempt to understand each other and a family which never got the chance to say goodbye. There's quite a lot of moments you will feel pity for the characters in the movie. One emotional scene for me is that a friend called another to bid farewell knowing his demise was near. Then, he embraced his own family waiting for death to come. It's rare for me to watch men cry in a movie but for 2012, it's a norm. Tough men do cry when in pain. And in this case, losing someone he loves and likes. People also made sacrifices so that others can survive.

The movie do have some light-hearted scenes like the chicken scene. A young Tibet monk tried to coax his grandparents to evacuate as his grandmother was trying to decapitate a chicken. The monk mentioned about a faux about a dam which the chicken responds as if it was in shock hearing the news. Of course, it made its last scream before its head finally rolls. LOL.

Well, it does have a feel of Noah's Ark at the end but it really gets me thinking. Actually, I feel anyone who watch it will come out of the cinema thinking too. Supposedly if 2012 is really the end of the world, are you going to have the same regrets like the characters in the movie? Is there someone or something you could have resolved with while you can? Is there someone or something you failed to cherish? Think about it and you may find what you have been missing.

Hope I didn't spoil the show much but it's worth to watch again for me. Oh ya, I got a shock in my life when I saw Simon buy a $399 PSU. Well, so much to his powerful PC. -_-

Chop Shop Horror

2009-11-05T22:16:00.002+08:00

Well, I downloaded Left 4 Dead 2 Demo after hearing Christian rave about it and we played for a while. First impression wise...it's almost like the 1st game. The controls are familiar and it's more and more zombies. The differences will be that the graphics are much better than the 1st and you can't melee as much as you want. New special zombies like the Charger, the Spitter and the Jockey. And as Value promises...the melee weapons. Chris and me aimed for the frying pan all the while. It's indeed fun hearing the sound of metal wacking the poor heads of the undead. Then, I found my favourite weapon. A parang. Which decapitates a zombie in one swing. And I came into a weird scene with a Witch.

Chris told me he heard a Witch but I couldn't see her. Then after clearing a horde of zombies, I saw the Witch walking on my character's left. She wasn't aggroed by my presence and she looked as if she was dying. I aimed at her head and blasted a shot. I was using a Combat Shotgun so I believe I did a single shot kill? Well, I didn't see an achievement but I have to say the Combat Shotgun is very powerful. Then we came to a zone where we have to switch off an alarm to end the endless hordes of zombies coming our way. Chris's game froze leaving me to fend against the endless hordes. I ended up using the parang and slashed as much zombies as possible. A HUGE pile of bodies and limbs surrounded me. Welcome to the chop shop! LOL!

To end this, it seems like this game will be quite fun to play with although the similarities with the 1st game. But I definitely will play it to see the gore just like Chris was saying the game is gross but awesome. LOL!

Farewell, Superman

2009-10-30T02:08:00.004+08:00

As I'm typing this, he is on his way to another phase of his life. His life story ain't simple nor pleasant for many has only see his happy side. I promise him not to disclose anything so I'm quite okay with the reactions of them who are surprised that he and I are acquainted. In fact, we already knew and met each other for months.

It's definitely a short time we know each other. True, I looked for him because I needed help but eventually, it went just beyond that. He looked for me when he needed help too. Finally, we decided to meet up. So, it's from two different strangers to two good friends who share the same thoughts and philosophy about life. We shared things and secrets not many people will know. And of course, our ages ain't a problem to us at all.

He is indeed someone who thinks and behaves much matured than people of his age. He will sometimes say things that will bewilder me. It's really rare to see this kind of people but I have to say he didn't want to be like this. He want to be like any normal teenager out there to have fun and company. But I believe his life experiences will continue to nurture him to be a better man than now. He will find his freedom someday for sure.

I said this many times and again, thank you for being around for me and I'm glad that I can be of any help for you. You believe in me and trust me with your heart. I know you don't want a tearful sendoff but I really feel I should be there. So here once more, bon voyage Christian Clark and have a good time in Fort Worth. Make your blog into your travel journal like I suggested. Hope you bookmarked the Chinese food directory I sent you that time....LOL! See you soon!

P.S: Please also remember what you promise me too...or else I fly over and give you 'adjustments'!!! ^^

What A Nice Note

2009-10-29T00:14:00.002+08:00

Actually, Christian asked me to do it a long time back but I was really thinking who I shall include inside so here goes nothing...

Ten things you wish to say to ten different persons. No names.

1. I can never forget how we got together. A disposable camera. I really enjoy your company since we were young and the times I spent at your house playing your computer or my games. We are connected by our hearts which is why we can feel each other's prescences from far. My reason for being able to smile and laugh during those times is all because of you. I really regret not keeping you in contact even when we are a stone's throw away. You will always be my best friend. May you have a lovely child soon. ^^

2. I may have said these a thousand times but I really appreciate and thank you for supporting me and listening to me all the while. I know it's a hard time for you as well but you offered to spend your time listening to this old man. Just like you said, our friendship was simple but we turned it into something we will remember for life. I enjoyed every times we spent together...be it the libray or movies. I admire you for being strong even though you are faced with such injustice in your life. I appreciate everything you have done so far and even that small blue note. It may not be the best handwriting but I can see the hard work behind it. Our time together is short but I believe it will not be our last. Thank you and see you soon.

3. I have to thank you for being so tolerant to me all these while. I appreciate for still standing on my side even people and situations have changed. I enjoyed my oversea trip with you but I really hope you will learn to protect yourself. I look forward for more good times and hopefully, we will embark on another trip in the future.

4. Out of the trio, you are the most sensible and I'm sorry to disappoint you time after time. I know you had considered for the best and have done anything possible. I will never forget what you said to me that time that started our friendship. Our happy times, our secret location behind the bookshelf, that 7-11 Indian supervisor and her kid, the searches for the thieves and many more. You always put up a strong and happy front but we know inside you are always tearing. You of all people should know second chances don't come by easily so why don't you give yourself a second chance for her? I hope you are contented with the people around you now and I hope for the best for your exams.

5. I always say I can see through a person yet I admit that I can't see through you. But is it because I can't or you are not even showing up? You told me once before that you wanted people to understand and trust you but for them to do so, you have to do the same things you wanted them to do. You are always hiding and avoiding in a way that you will feel safe. You have to be honest and open about yourself. But still, I'm glad I was part of a pleasant memory for you and her. Although it was short-lived, I feel like it could have lasted or even given a second chance if you learn to accept changes and have more trust. I'm sorry to make you feel stressed during those times and I hope for the best for anything to come for you.

6. I think I will always treat you like a little brother of mine. I'm sorry we had to end in such a manner. You came to me when you needed help and I never rejected you. The late night chats, the 'adjustments', your drawings, her, the talk about gadgets, software and games. I always told you to have more courage in everything so you wouldn't have told me that you felt useless and even cried back then. You told me before that you may not understand why I showed concern over you unless you are in the same shoes as me. Now since you have another person's responsibility, have you learnt a little? I can't stop you from trusting whoever you want to but I hope you made a good choice. Wish the best for the both of you and her.

7. We have been through thick and thin and of course, enjoyed thrashing each other in games and everything. It's really amazing we have known each other for so long way before you were slim till now you have to go for RT. Haha! I still miss your mother's cooking and the times I spent at your places. Athough I may not understand why the trio of you have any bad blood with you-know-who but I still enjoy the company with you all. I shall look for many good times to come and I will definitely help you build the Ultimate PC!!! Just hope it don't blow up. LOL.

8. To me, you have the most amazing personality and family I ever know. I just hope you will learn to take care of yourself and be more practical on things. Being a pro gamer leads to temporary success and should not be treated as a form of revenue. But being with you is always fun. Your mother never fails to amaze me, be it personality or look. Your little sister gonna make it big if she anticipates the correct chance. Please learn to draw more naturally and not extract from any sources. I hope you will be a great game designer in the future.

9. The times we spent together are priceless. Although there were some conflicts in the middle but I'm glad we still trusted each other. I know you wanted to help me but I had to make you realise dreams will come true unless you work hard for it. I'm happy that you managed to escape from the great gold mine dream to be more practical and work hard to your current position. I'm happy that we shared the same interest to sing but seriously, singing with just both of us is kinda...gay. I'm only sad that I'm always not able to join you all for your trips but I know there will always be the next. We should plan one epic trip soon because it will mark a significant number in our life. Till then and may good times come.

10. You mark a significant position of my life and I know I will be lost without you one day. But trust me, I will brave through that and I will always remember what you told me ever. I'm glad I was part of your family and vice versa.

Nine things about myself.

1) Call me Ace. But don't call me ass or you will smell it.
2) I love being alone at times but I still need my friends.
3) I hate things that go pop. Don't ask why and don't try popping things or else it's your head that goes pop soon.
4) I take things easily and forgive easily. Why make life miserable when we only have 3 more years to live? Hint: 2012. LOL.
5) I would rather carry nothing except my past with me.
6) I think I was shot in the head in my previous life which explains my birthmark on my head.
7) I am trying very hard to keep fit. Really hard to keep fit....just that things always spoil my plans
8) It doesn't matter if you are my enemy or so. If you need help, I shall offer my hand and not my gun.
9) I always thinks of what happen when I die and that always irks me.

Eight ways to win my heart.

1) Appreciate me.
2) Patience.
3) Honesty.
4) Devotion.
5) Think before acting.
6) Always have respect.
7) Inspiration.
8) A kind heart

Seven things that cross my mind a lot.

1) PS3
2) Tomorrow
3) What to eat.
4) Money
5) Him
6) Him
7) How to play WoW.

Six things I do before I fall asleep.

1) Music
2) Chat with someone
3) Facebook
4) Watch some drama.
5) Stress relief
6) Him

Five people who mean a lot.

1) Sister
2) Jeng Jeng the Junk
3) Father
4) Him
5) Mr Encyclopedia

Four things you’re wearing right now.

1) T-shirt
2) Boxers
3) Gold ring
4) Nothing

Three bands/singers that you listen to currently.

1) Jonas Brothers
2) Utada Hikaru
3) Corrinne May

Two things you want to do before you die.

1) Travel the world.
2) Say farewell to my friends.

One confession.
1) I hope this is just a dream after all.

Separations

2009-10-08T01:26:00.004+08:00

Well, I never actually looked at the lyrics of Mariah Carey's Bye Bye ever since I heard it at Stanley's workplace back then. Now, since I'm literally listening it once or twice per day...so...I guess it will be cool to look at this catchy song. Well, the catchy part...everyone knows. LOL. So, once I looked at the lyrics, I was silent for a while. Well, for me, I lost my mom and had been through one seperation recently. The lyrics resound to me emotionally. It's not only a song of life and death but all forms of seperations.

Speaking of one form of separation, Mr Encyclopedia finally made his move and decides to cast a very long line to fish. Guess his resolve isn't as hard as he claims. Watched Surrogates with him a few days back although the plan was Inglorious Bastards. Missed the timing somehow. Since he informed the last few about his departure, I guess time is crucial to him now. And I shall dedicate that song to him and also to that someone too. ^^

Bitching Mode

2009-10-04T23:49:00.002+08:00

I just want to say this. I guess they will never hear of it though. The economy is very bad now so why expect people to be able to spend much!? I can talk all the way from China to Singapore then back to China but I can't do anything if no one wants to buy anything. And that bloody place just opened and for god's sake, what a splendid location it's at. Have some brains, people! Like what we've been through, gift is not a necessity. And for god's sake, I have balls below not up there. I think they should put sissy as a requirement. They shouldn't have welcomed males to join in the first place when they are not able to accept males working.

Kiss Me Goodbye

2009-09-15T22:51:00.009+08:00

The most beautiful song in Final Fantasy history. Dedicated to you, my friend...

anata wa mayotte itemo
When you’re wandering about
DOA wa aite iru yo
Open up the door
futari no sekai dake dewa
Our world indeed
mitasarenai no deshou?
Doesn’t satisfy you, does it?

hane wo ageru kara shinjite tobeba ii
If you spread your wings and believe you can fly

Kiss me goodbye, love’s memory
anata wo ushinattemo
I may have lost you
ai shita kioku ga tsuyosa ni kawaru kara
The memories of love have made me strong

tashika na mono wo sagashite
You’re searching for certainty
daremo ga koi suru ga
The thing that everybody loves

yuruganai ai wa jibun no naka ni wa aru
An unwavering love is always within yourself

Kiss me good-bye sayounara
Kiss me good-bye, farewell
atarashii watashi ni kawaru
I’ve changed into a new me

Kiss me goodbye...

Kiss me goodbye, love’s memory
atarashii futari ni kawaru nara
If only we could change into a new couple

Kiss me goodbye nakanai
Kiss me goodbye, I won’t cry
anata wo ai seta kara
Because you can be loved again
anata wo ai seta kara
Because you can be loved again

Guilty As Charged

2009-09-15T22:47:00.002+08:00

Wow...what a facial expression he made when he saw me at the Ang Mo Kio bus stop. Totally ashamed. Guilty look on his face.

Well, up to him to believe if it happened...anyway he's already detached from reality.

Blocked To Nowhere

2009-09-14T18:57:00.000+08:00

Seriously, I really question the intelligence of some people and in this case, the management from LTA. Well, I was caught in a massive jam yesterday morning and I was thinking what could have happened that caused it. I was even thinking of chained accidents and I was so speechless when I realised what happened.

Well, there were people doing plant pruning on the right lane of the CTE causing the 3 lane road to be shortened into a 2 lane. The funny part? They blocked off the lane with cones covering from the point they finished pruning to where they were still pruning and stretched all the way to the concrete bridge...where there were NO trees or plants at all. And they had to do it at the peak morning season. Bravo to the management! Stupidity at its best!

They could have shortened the waiting time to pass through the jam by reducing their work area as soon as possible and not to mention places that didn't need to be blocked. Whoever planned that arrangement must have an inconsiderate and exaggerated thinking. Thinking too much on a detail leads to nowhere but self humiliation.

By the way, thanks to the nice guy who helped me secure a ticket for my new broadband account. I signed up for M1 Fixed Broadband 30Mbps plan on the last day of Comex. I know it's crazy to pick it up but it's really very valued for money. Ha! Guess I'll be climbing Bukit Timah like a flash! =)

Have You Thought Of It?

2009-09-11T23:45:00.000+08:00

Hmm...an interesting topic just popped up a while ago and I discussed it with a friend of mine. Well, he said to me that he missed the chance to go for a private course he wanted to study and he regretted not sending the application form back then. Then I told him that it was his laziness that got over him which made him missed the deadline for the application. He tends to keep things in waiting and forgets about them later...

Okay, when someone says he/she regrets doing something...does it mean that he/she regretted about the action or the reason of the action? I believe most would say action because commonly people regrets doing things like regretting not to study well or not to chase after someone. Then again, there are people who say they regretted and yet made same mistakes over and over...so did they really regretted? I would say procrastination will be a better explanation. Because they never considered to figure out or accept the reason(s) behind.

Well, today I learned about a sad news. Well, "sad" may be exaggerating as we both agreed it will be the best for him. For him to be under such dire circumstances, I can say he's indeed a brave one. He is simply much matured than anyone that's of his age. I'm glad that he is always there although it's only for a short time. Hope you find true happiness and freedom out there. Time beckons you to make decisions. =)

And one more thing before I end, there's nothing to hide in here...

Food For Thought Again

2009-09-05T19:36:00.000+08:00

I jolly know what happen between us and the chances he has given to me and how many times I tried to apologise. But I DON'T make up facts just to justify myself and put you all into dismay. I speak the truth so I don't know what you all have been hearing so far.

Yes, you may feel that I was concerned about my money because this misunderstanding all started with my money. But I won't repeat myself here...what I have done for you all came from my own will and heart...you all know deeply in your hearts. Just like I remembered the good times we shared together. And for sure, I know you all don't treat me like a sugar daddy. =)

And about the last time we meet...Transformers 2 and New York New York...what went wrong back then? I complied with what you told me over the phone...don't talk unnecessarily things to him. Monetary issues again? I paid for my ticket and my meal so I don't know why there was a shortage back then. Or you all expecting me to cover all expenses?

And for you, to use another name to escape from everything, can you face me? Frankly speaking, it was a trivial matter after all. Why must it be this way?

Food For Thought

2009-09-05T14:34:00.000+08:00

Hope you will also see it too.

1) Was I given a 3rd chance?
2) Who really do not let the matter to rest after so long?
3) We do not just known each other recently, so am I really that petty to you?
4) You tried your best but who's the one who don't want to bulge?
5) Are those I said really made up by me or it's the truth?
6) I've done apologising and making up but who refuses to accept?
7) You told me that you felt their actions were childish. Right?
8) I also want to go back to square one and make things right but am I given a chance to?

Orthros

2009-09-02T02:57:00.000+08:00

First and not least, I made a small error in the last entry. I will be still waiting for sure.

Well, if anyone is good with Greek mythology, Orthros is actually a two headed dog alike its elder sibling Cerberus. I'm watching a Japanese drama called Orthros No Inu which has an interesting plot to me. The story is basically about two men who possess supernatural powers. Shinji has the Hand of the God which he can heal or cure all diseases and injuries by just touching the person with his bare hands while Ryosuke has the Hand of the Devil which he can kill a person by just touching with his bare hands. But the personalities of the two men contradict their powers. Shinji is actually an introvert with a dark past who manipulates people to achieve what he wants while Ryosuke is a kind person who often goes out of his league to help others. People who learns about their powers fear them but yet some of them wish to keep their powers for their own uses thus the dark side of humanity is prominent in this show. Their powers cause the balance of life to be overthrown.

Of course, there is a female character in this show as usual. Nagisa saw Ryosuke's power when Ryosuke saved her from being shot by killing her assaulter. But Ryosuke was never charged as there was no evidence to prove he can kill by touching. He's often easily influenced and manipulated by people especially Shinji to do things he didn't want to. Shinji may seem heartless at times but he do show compassion at times like offering to cure Nagisa's daughter of her asthma and curing a pop idol of her throat cancer after hearing her background. Nagisa is often put into situations where she has to make a decisive action to protect everyone and put Shinji back behind bars. Well, Shinji was sentenced to death after supposedly killing off three friends without healing them when he could.

Well, the show's still ongoing at this moment so I guess the plot will get much more interesting. It is indeed a good show as it portrays human emotions and nature whereas humanity is put to the test.

Will You?

2009-08-28T23:36:00.001+08:00

To walk this path shrouded in darkness takes a lot of courage and determination.

I have never given up or given up on any of you.

Now you unlock the door, will you be standing on the other side waiting for me?

^^

2009-08-25T15:59:00.000+08:00

Just in case if anyone was wondering why the previous entry was called two five zero, it was my 250th entry.

I just want to say thank you. Thank you for accepting me once again.

Thank you very much... ^^

Two Five Zero

2009-08-24T23:51:00.002+08:00

Well, I can't really think of a good title for this entry so I have to go with it. And it's definitely surprisingly that I had written so much nonsense so far. LOL. Well, true feelings and thoughts only exist here. And also since someone reminded me that I have not been blogging so here I am. Same channel, different time. LOL.

Oh, I forget to mention that I did said I was getting a new skin for the blog. In the end, I can't bear to discard this skin so I ended up adding my favourite colour on it. So...welcome...to the newskin.

On the juicy part, I met up with my primary schoolmates for a gathering on Saturday. I had to go since I had been MIA for the last outing. Edmund threatened me that if I never turn up, I wouldn't be seeing them forever. LOL. We actually expected to meet up with a classmate whom I bumped into at McDonalds but the latter couldn't make it in the end. But I managed to meet up with Zhiliang whom came back from overseas recently. It has been a long while since I last saw him.

We ended up having steamboat at COCA restaurant at Takashimaya. The food there taste decent. We ordered a lot of fish, toufu and meatballs as it was a buffet. Edmund seems to love the cockles there much. He ordered 4 plates of it...mainly devoured by him. And the fun part...the elder waiter there seems to recognise him as the cockles regular as when Edmund asked for his assistance, the waiter asked if he wanted more cockles automatically. LOL. In the end, he couldn't finish the last plate as his stomach was at its limit.

After lunch, all went their ways leaving me and Edmund in ION Orchard. We went exploring the place as Edmund wanted to. Just a short intro about Edmund is that he's a freelance runway producer so he has a strong sense of fashion. We went into Zegna where he was looking for white shirts. Then a few more rounds in ION before he decided to visit Hugo BOSS in Takashimaya. There, he took a liking for a scarf, a vest and a shirt which in the end he returned to get the scarf only. It's a refreshing experience for me since...honestly...I felt I was shopping with a female. LOL.

The day ended with him meeting his friends for dinner and movie while I made a visit to Suntec Convention Centre then later met up with Alex, Simon and Leon for dinner. I had not been seeing Alex ever since he moved to Hougang. And he is now attached.

It was quite a tiring day in the end as I met up with 2 groups of friend in one day. Lots of walking and talking. I feel I should be contented with what I have but certainly there are things I wish to set things right.

1+1=2

2009-08-14T09:35:00.001+08:00

Well, the internet is crawling and Facebook is bugged. Best things to happen at a perfect time. Hope the underwater cable can be fixed soon.

Sometimes, I feel that I'm demanding too much from myself and others. Must learn to relax and go easy on things. But it doesn't mean I have given up on certain things. Running away from reality isn't going to help much and the past will catch up on you someday. It is actually proof that you are alive in this world. Speaking about the past catching up, I met up with Joel after a long hiatus. Seeing him is like dealing a punch in my guts...well...I am just going to say I got motivated again. Since he signed on the Air Force, that explains the need to stay in shape.

Photographs do tell a lot. You can actually see whether the persons inside are actually smiling or faking smiles. Well, we are expected to smile during a shoot. We can also see whether a person is in harmony or in good terms with the rest of the people in the same photo. Well, the odd one out can be seen standing away from the group and/or near subjects that don't harmonize with the rest. Or the most obvious situation is that you don't see the person at all. Of course, there are people who are shy at the camera like me. LOL. But normally, I will be in a photo when I am needed to. It's just that most of the time I am the one taking the shot.

Hope Clarence can see it. People gather together for the sake of gathering like work or school. True friendship can only be earned when both parties learn to trust and accept each other. Learn to see who are the ones you can confide to and learn to accept any shortcomings. Our characters make what we are. Humans are not perfect and identical. We often expect people to suit us but we tend to forget that we must do our part to suit them too. Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. Sounds familiar right? LOL.

For once, the guys are doing something cohesively which is beneficial to me. I got signed up to Standard Chartered Marathon after much persuasion from Kianz and they began devising weekly running sessions. Which means I need to get a pair of running shoes soon since my last pair is about 7 years old...if you get what I mean. LOL. Expect a new skin tomorrow...

A Little Bits of ION

2009-08-10T02:10:00.000+08:00

Okay, it's not another unsponsored advertisement of ION Orchard but I really find the place very interesting. Due to the reason that the mall is a mirror to the kind of malls you find in Japan, you will see certain similarities and differences from malls in Singapore or Japan. Since I had been to Japan before, I can relate much.

The 1st obvious similarity to Japan's malls is that you see lot of customer service officers around to guide you when you are lost or trying to find some place. They are dressed in office wear...unlike Tampines One which most are in T-shirts and jeans. Go into the toilets and you see the word automation. The tap, hand dryer and the soap dispenser are operated via sensory. And there's this caramel smell around in the toilets. Take a cab to ION and you are being welcomed like a prestigious guest. There are valets dressed in suits helping to open and close the car doors and they will greet and welcome you. Kinda make me feel rich and noble. LOL.

There are also weird and rare scenes there too. Well, L1 to L4 are for the rich folks so I supposed not many normal people can afford or know them. Strangely, those shops become kinda of a tourist attraction to them. I see people posing in front of Louis Vuitton and taking photographs. And I see people taking pictures of the brand names too. I had Tokyo Crepe Girls twice....once a disaster...the other a haven. Well, for the 1st time, I order a Mushroom and Cheese crepe and it wasn't the master chef who did it...rather it's either his assistant who did. He took a longer while to toast the crepe which the master chief did it within a few flips. I got a stomachache that night...For the 2nd time, I had Chocolate and Banana crepe. Which tasted rather good and I survived. LOL. Well, it was done by the master chief. And it seems Japanese people are very pleasant as they kept smiling at me...

Talking about people being pleasant, I had a weird encounter with a guy in ION. Well, he's working in the Havaianas shop on B2. I dropped by there after work looking to get a new pair of slippers. Then when he saw me, he gave me this weird look like he knew me. He didn't greet me as a customer and he looked at me for a while. After I asked him about the slippers, he suddenly told me that he don't have the bigger sizes for his slippers and he needed to order them. But....I never asked him about sizes. Then he started telling me that he also had problems getting his slippers and he looked down. I followed and I was wondering why he said so. He told me he was wearing a size 6 which was a rare size. Then somehow, our conversation felt like we knew each other and he was standing close to me. I tried to recall if I knew him but seemed like I actually don't know him at all. Or is he being pleasant? Or he knows I work around ION? Or is he some guy I skipped my mind...?

I remember someone wears a size 6 too...

Have You Seen My Smiles?

2009-08-07T00:04:00.000+08:00

Actually, I got the idea for the title from MJ's Childhood. The first verse of the song,

Well, today, someone asked me why am I not smiling. I was really puzzled as I did smiled a couple of times today. Or he could have missed them. Then again, I did felt I don't smile much lately. In actual fact, I've not been smiling much for a long while. When was the last time I really enjoyed myself and smiled?

Things are what they are now. I really feel I'm living a life of a zombie sometimes. Just waiting for that day to be alive once more. It takes two hands to clap though. I overheard someone saying this one day that in life, it doesn't matter what had happened but what you had or could have done. I have done what I can do but I guess that isn't enough...somehow.

Actually, I also feel I've not been laughing much too. Life's kinda dull to me...fading to black. Who will shine that torch for me in the end...?

Man In The Mirror

2009-08-03T12:13:00.000+08:00

Don't worry, it's not another tribute to MJ but it's how I feel about us being human. First but not least, I need to apologise for the mushiness of my previous entry. Well, I really felt to express my thoughts about those people when I came across similar situations recently. Well, I tried my best to edit it to sound more normal. I have decided to transform myself so I wouldn't be doing stupid stuffs again. Still, I just want to share my thoughts about contradictions of our mind.

I believe everyone's been this scenario before. You desire a certain thing, living or non-living, and you hope so much to achieve it. But once you know that someone else desires the same thing or wants to assist you to achieve, you end up rejecting it or lie that you don't have any interest at all.

The golden rule of courtship for guys. When she says no during shopping, it means yes. When she say yes during shopping, it means partially yes and no.

When a group of friends agree to do a certain thing, please remember it's not always a 100% total agreement.

When we express our emotions, it's not always from our minds but sometimes affected by the surroundings or situations.

Our logic and actions can be affected by our peers or the surroundings like for example, you know the correct answer to a question but since everyone choose another answer, you follow suit.

We sometimes allow others to decide for ourselves when we can actually make choices.

Stubborn, indifferent, ungrateful or unmoved are all tricks of the human mind. Actions speak louder than words.

Our greatest enemy is ourselves. In order to succeed or accept changes, we must first be able to swallow our pride or make a breakthrough.

Well, this is pretty much it. I may add in more if I can think of more. I'm still contemplating to install Windows 7 on my com or not. People are giving me mixed reviews so I'm kinda confused here. Hope someone can advise me on that.

Show It, Flaunt It

2009-08-02T23:51:00.001+08:00

Well, I'm going to talk about something sensitive here although it may not for certain people. I really find it weird and want to pose this question to all the health fanatics out there. What is the reason that motivated you to step into a gym? The most common answer will be that you want to build a stronger body. The 2nd common answer will be that you want to lose weight and look better. I'm going to talk about these answers and the people I met or came across that kinda proves them and also contradicts them at the same time.

One of my friends signed up for a fitness club membership back in 2008 and as far as I can see, he is showing results. Back then, when I asked him why he wanted to join the gym, he said he didn't want to look skinny. Not only his body changed, his fashion sense changed too. Recently, I complimented him on looking better and was trying to punch his abs for fun as I joked to him that I want to see how hard they were. I punched a couple of times and I dared him to show his abs off. Then he asked me this question. Why do I want to see them? At that moment, I was bewildered and of course embarrassed too. So, I like to pose this question. Why he did not want to show them? Because he felt they were not at their best? Or he was shy to a friend whom they had swam in the same pool and showered beside each other? Or it could be that his body looks confident but not his mentality?

Another common situation I faced with is when I met up with some people that at one glance, you know they're quite well built. And when I complimented them being well built, they would normally say they are not or not at their bests. Well, actually I'm not sure how normal people might see it but what they said might be insulting to them. If they are not fit or at their bests, it can mean normal people are worse than them. At least, I can see it's just an excuse. Then somehow, you would see photos of them showing their assets somewhere in cyberspace or even doing pectoral bouncing when trying to taunt a friend. All I can say to these group of people is....be humble. If you have it, flaunt it. Because I am not blind. LOL.

Then, there's this group of people I know who are very confident mentally and physically. I will see them showing up in body hugging clothes or tank tops or being an exhibitionist. In short, showing as much flesh as possible at anywhere possible. These people are not shy and share their knowledge of fitness through their experiences. And they don't mind being teased around like one of the same minded friends said to me before...if his abs can withstand my punches, it means he's training them well. Once, a friend pulled up his shirt to flaunt his abs when all I said was how many packs already...LOL.

In a summary, if you took all the pain and even money to transform yourself, why is there a need to be shy or afraid to show? Personally, I got motivated when I'm around well built people. Which explains my strange behaviour. I will get comments like asking if I am gay...which I really hope those people who ask me that question know the definition of being gay... It's definitely not a harassment but it's purely me admiring and complimenting. So, I'm sorry if anyone felt offended by my actions so far. LOL. I always remind myself that I can be well built too but it's usually my laziness that won me over...Hahaha...

On a side note, I met up with Shayn Phua! Finally, after so long, I thought he died...LOL. In case, anyone wonders...yes...he's my secondary school classmate who is also famous for his theme song for the local movie Chicken Rice Wars and of course his role as a flirt in Spin which was a local teen drama series on Channel 5. Oh, he happened to be quite an exhibitionist back then. XD

ION

2009-07-27T23:54:00.000+08:00

Well, it's been a while since the last entry. I'm beginning to like working in ION just because of the fact that most of the popular shops are inside the mall too. And just like I posted in Twitter, the mall is indeed like the Titanic. Ignoring the carparks on top, the 1st-4th floors resemble the upper decks as the brands for the rich are there while B1-B4 floors resemble the lower decks as the brands for the commoners are there. And not to mention that exotic foods can be found there. The food mall resembles what I experienced in Takashimaya in Japan. It's packed with familiar Japanese food chains such as R Burger. Well, R Burger is actually a fast food chain except that it's healthy. The buns used for the burgers ain't the usuals but steamed white buns. Then it's authentic Takoyaki from Japan. 6 balls for $6. Everyday, there's always a long queue. Heard that it's quite good but I couldn't get the chance to buy it as the queue never dies. LOL. And Tokyo Crepe Girls is here in Singapore. A relatively known crepe chain in Japan. Ever since the last crepe franchise died, I was waiting for a revival. The most amazing part is that most Japanese food are prepared and cooked by Japaneses themselves. Seriously, you will need an empty stomach and lots of cash to survive your visit in the food mall in ION. You will be tempted. LOL.

Okay, enough of my unpaid advertisement of ION but into more serious issue. We have 5 persons dead because of H1N1 within 10 days. It's pretty alarming to me. So, I beckon my friends out there to take caution and care not to get infected. People believed that the virus wouldn't mutate but the figures say else. We have to protect ourselves and our loved ones.

Life goes on even after so much ups and downs. We learn to appreciate life and those around us. Let there be more love and lesser hate. Let there be more consideration and forgiveness and lesser pain and misunderstandings. As we are humans, we can control, change and ultimately create.

Think it's about time to change my blogskin. Feel free to tag as my tagboard is rather cold like this week's weather...LOL.

Hubber

2009-07-17T03:57:00.002+08:00

Well, it's about time for me to return to all green. After paying nonsense price for my internet, it's finally over soon. Still deciding on what speed I am getting though as the usual problem with Starhub is still around.

And also a coincidence, I'm working under Starhub now...so anyone need services? LOL. I get to touch new phones...well...touch but not own of course. Actually, I didn't know I can get a new phone annually if I didn't cancel my Maxonline subscription back then. Gosh...how many phones did I miss getting? LOL.

Oh yeah, my iPod Touch had gone digital as you all can see. LOL. I added another good song by Corrinne May in it. The people in the photos are not related to me anyway. I hope someone can listen and understand.

Weird Dream

2009-07-14T10:39:00.003+08:00

It's rare that I blog this early but I have to while it's still fresh. It's indeed strange that I even remember what I had dreamt for that I'm a heavy sleeper and I don't remember my dreams mostly so far. And also the fact it's about us that bewildered me...

Well, it's rather a short one though. We were walking down a row of shops and he suddenly spoke to me. He talked to me in a tone as if nothing had happened. I don't recall who else was around but there were definitely the boys around. He said to me that his friends got upset when they knew that he was going out with me and he hated them for it. Then I asked who did he refer to when he said his friends. Apparently, I didn't get my answer. He kept apologising for what he had done. Finally, I see myself and him talking and laughing just like we did in the past.

I don't really want to pin my hopes too high on it though. Maybe it's my conscience helping me out to ease my pain. LOL. But I can't deny that I hope it become a reality.

We Are Looking At The Same Side Of The Moon

2009-07-11T02:22:00.003+08:00

Well, just happen to hear this on radio. I remembered this song well. It was one of the good songs by Corrinne May. Somehow, the lyrics seem to relate on how I feel now...

I'm looking out the window
Where we sat to watch the stars
There's a chill within the air
It makes my heart long for your touch
You may be miles away
But as I kneel to pray

I see the same side of the moon
That we'll be looking on when the world turns blue
And know that time and space can't come between me and you
We share the same side of the moon
And though you'll never see all my tears shine through
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon

I picture you across the ocean
In your corner of the world
I pray the wind will blow my voice
And gently whisper in your ear
Your night may be my day
And though the seasons change

It's still the same side of the moon
That we'll be looking on when the world turns blue
And know that time and space can't come between me and you
We share the same side of the moon
And though you'll never see all my tears shine through
You know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon

Even For A Moment

2009-07-05T01:01:00.002+08:00

Well, I will keep this real short. Thank you Sihao for calling me out for the movie today. I really hope that moment can last forever. Thank you for making it possible.

Farewell To The King

2009-06-27T12:51:00.003+08:00

Finally found time to update here. And not to mention I just have to. I believe this news is quite popular right now. Yeah, Michael Jackson had passed away due to heart attack.

Well, for people in my generation, he is indeed a pop icon. Even I should say a legend. He inspired many new artistes who tried to be on par with him and for us, we tried to mimic him. Like his fashion sense and of course, his dance moves. I did had my fair share of trying to perfect his moonwalk back then but don't ask me to do now...legs getting rusty. LOL

But we do not know him just because of his music and dance moves. We actually knew him. Through his music. Through his life. Unlike us, we grew up on MacDonald's french fries and cola, he didn't have much of a childhood. Remember the song "Childhood"? He started singing at the age of 8 with his brothers whom they were forced by their abusive father. He did make it big but unknown to others, he had to pay a price for it. His entire life is all about creating music for us and to tell his story.

He was indeed a strong person too. Despite able to survive countless facial surgeries to alter his face, he was still living strong. As a performer and as a person. He seemed unwillingly to remember his sad past so he felt he had to change physically. And for his strange behavour, I would say that he was plainly making up for his lost childhood. Every time we saw him, it was always his dazzling self. But we never remembered or thought how did he manage to get this far. It is a common norm that people put up a brave front to hide their weaknesses and I felt that MJ is a perfect example. No matter how much you can pretend to be happy, indifferent, ignorant or angry, you can't deny the fact that the past still matters a lot. It makes what we are now. Like my mother used to say this..."When you had your fun, remember to come back home." Think about it. ^^

Ironically, people started to talk about MJ after his death just like my friend said. When he was still around, no one did...only when his bad news surfaced. Why we have to start regretting or remembering when things had gone to a point of no return? We could have given enough chances. Like MJ, who was given another chance by doing comeback concerts after so much scandals. Sometimes, it is wise to ease up and let things go.

Well, the radio's blasting his songs 24/7. To me, MJ will be deeply remembered. For what he is and what he gave us. May you rest in peace, MJ.

The Flame Never Dies

2009-06-16T12:43:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I really can't understand my actions. Why do I still have to take his feelings into consideration? I can do or say whatever I want...yet I hesitate. I still care about him in the end.

Well, I added a link to my Facebook account at the bottom. Scroll down to find it. Maybe I will change the blogskin soon. Hope things get better though.

Reprise

2009-06-15T00:44:00.002+08:00

I shouldn't have walked past and saw them accidentally.

I know I should be strong but my tears just can't stop.

It hurts. It still hurts.

Too Much Cheese

2009-06-07T23:10:00.002+08:00

I just came back from having dinner and a trip down to the arcade with Simon. We met up when he said he need to go to Kinokuniya at Liang Court to browse the Japanese magazines.

We settled dinner at this Japanese Italian restaurant called Saizeriya. The funny thing about this restaurant is that the items are priced ending with 8 cents. He ordered a cheese coated beef steak and Boria with meat sauce while I ordered a cheese coated chicken steak and Boria with shrimps. Well, Boria is actually cheese baked rice. I actually thought it was some soup...so I am quite full now. LOL. Then as usual, he shared with me his racist jokes he heard from reservist and we chatted.

Then I took him to a toy collectible store next to Funan which I just discovered recently. And it is like poison to him instantly. Haha! Guess I will see him frequenting there in future. LOL. Finally, we walked all the way to Bugis and took a peek at the arcade. Then home sweet home.

Seems like I must motivate myself to start the plan. No point admiring. Period.

Letting It Out

2009-06-05T22:04:00.002+08:00

Well, people might say I look strong literally but in actual, I am quite weak mentally. I really don't know how long I can take this. So, if you are reading this, please give me one more chance again. I will make up to you all.

It appears that someone else is having a hard time too or so. Well, it's a norm that I am the only person in the group who will ask if anyone would want to sing. But yesterday, Stanley got us out to sing. In the end, only 3 of us went. And it got screwed up somehow. Well, there are 2 Kbox venues in Ang Mo Kio so I thought that they might go to the one at Big Mac Centre, thus I made a booking there. Then later, I received a call from Stanley saying he had arrived BUT he was at the one at Broadway Plaza. I had to cancel the booking back at Big Mac Centre.

Throughout the session, Stanley sang furiously. As in, it was unusual for him to be so engrossed. And the songs he chose...well...love songs? And he had 2 glasses of beer while we filled ourselves up with warm honey lemon. For a moment, I thought he was drunk as he acted aggressively. For me, I sang the usual songs and a couple of English ballads. Then I jumped to the Japanese songs when our time was about up. LOL!

Well, I need to thank Stanley somehow for organising it. I definitely need to unwind. Sadly, our class outing seems to falter away...I think I better do something about it. Somehow...lol.

Terminated Again

2009-05-31T01:28:00.002+08:00

Well, there was so much hype about the game and the movie back then. First, the game came and...sadly it was disappointing. So with an unexcited feeling, the guys and me went to watch Terminator Salvation. And...yeah...the show's as disappointing as the game too.

Okay, many had seen the trailers and yes, there's so much boom and robots. But I guess brain juice has run dry somehow. Firstly, the good Terminator, Marcus Wright, is made up of living human organs and of course a metal exoskeleton then covered by flesh and blood. How can living organs survive inside a metallic condition? Finally, a heart transplant without checking of compatibility?

Throughout the show, Marcus keep saying about getting a 2nd chance. I am wondering...when's mine? I will never give up. ^^

The guys are already making plans for the school outing and I think I need to get my hair done soon. By the way, someone's hair is getting way too long...

Distant Worlds Final Fantasy

2009-05-24T00:00:00.002+08:00

I went to the Esplanade with Andy this afternoon to catch the event. It was a craze from a start...tickets for all shows were snatched up hours after upon release. The reason? It's a pure Final Fantasy concert and Nobuo Uematsu will be attending.

I actually dropped by Play! concert last year and I would say Distant Worlds is way much better. Although it's being pulled off by the Singapore Festival Orchestra but it still has some decency. And for the encore, One Winged Angel with a twist. Nobuo Uematsu actually felt like singing so he joined the choir at the back to sing along. Then it was a long wait for his autograph which I didn't get in the end as he only could be available for 20 minutes. We got ourselves the album too. Felt that the album way much better than the performance I was at. LOL.

Well, when 'Dear Friends' was being played, my heart sunk. It kinda responded with my feelings. A good job on that piece. And not to mention 'Swing de Chocobo', the classic Chocobo theme with a twist. For the fun part, they were playing chocobo videos from all previous Final Fantasy games and the chocobos were dancing along to the piece. ^^

So much things happened recently and it had taken a toll on my body. My hearing is distorted. Everything I hear is mechanical. Hope it's just stress and it will go away soon. Or am I dying? ><

Time Will Heal Everything

2009-05-20T22:32:00.002+08:00

I suppose it's as my friend said. Everyone need time to cool down and think things over. Let nature takes its course.

Thanks for my friends who understand and support me, I can't be selfish to them thus I am still breathing. The wound is healing, so there's nothing to worry about.

After all, all I want is to apologise.

Dizzy

2009-05-11T23:25:00.002+08:00

I don't know why...but I feeling very lost here. I am feeling sick too...too much things happen in one go. I no longer have any idea what to do...maybe it's time for me to...

To Her In The Sky

2009-05-10T21:08:00.004+08:00

First but not the least, I wish all mothers a Happy Mother's Day. If you can read the header, I supposed you all know what it meant.

Actually, it's been a long time since she passed away. But every time on this day, I miss her a lot. I missed her fingers running through my hair and playing with it. And I would ask her to stop because she kinda pulled them a bit. LOL. I missed the times when I helped out washing my primary school canteen with her when she was working part-time there. Well, my family was pretty much afflicted with my primary school some how. There's so much to miss about her but there's something I can never get a chance again. That is to say goodbye to her. We were not there when she left...

She would always nag at me telling me not to waste money on unwanted stuffs and cherish those things around you. She didn't stop me from going out with my friends back then even though my sister protested fearing I might get into bad company. She said to me that it's up to me to decide whether to trust my friends for they will be my support when my parents are not around. These were big words for a young kid back then.

Well, it's kinda of a ritual for me to cry every time I think of her. Somehow, I feel like finding her now. I want to tell her how helpless I feel now. LOL. She will definitely slap me back into reality for sure.

Finally, to my mom up there, Happy Mother's Day 2009. (T.T)//

The Heat Is On

2009-05-07T23:04:00.002+08:00

Anyone feeling warm lately? I'm having uncomfortable sleeping due to both emotional and physical stress. Too bad that I don't have an aircon like others. Then there's this swine flu going around and I felt myself feverish at times. But it's not that serious...but then sometimes I hope I might as well get it and die. LOL.

A funny thing happened today. I bought Toto and I got these numbers. 2, 17, 27, 28, 29, 30 and 31. Pretty numbers right? In the end, I requested for another series as it's impossible to win anything.

I've trying to get myself cheerful nowadays. I tried asking them if they wanted to watch a movie and eat for free but seems that they are busy or something... I am still waiting for you. I remembered all the things we shared and did together. Please forgive me.

I Finally Did A Survey...

2009-05-03T03:34:00.002+08:00

Couldn't get to sleep and I happened to see this on Archz's blog. Seems like a lot of people done this so I just carried on. ^^

TEN ARE YOUS
- Are you single?: Yes.
- Are you happy?: Not recently.
- Are you bored?: Right now? Of course.
- Are you fair?: Definitely.
- Are you Italian?: Nope.
- Are you intelligent?: Well if I am, I wouldn't be in this state now...
- Are you honest?: 99.99% of the time.
- Are you nice?: Of course.
- Are you Irish?: Nope.
- Are you Asian?: Proud to be one.

TEN FACTS
- Full Name: Esmund Ng Chong Beng/Huang Zhongming
- Nicknames: Ace/Kairyu/Nomeca
- Birth place: K.K. Hospital
- Hair colour: Copper/Black
- Natural Hair Style: Lazy Right
- Birthday: 18th March 1980
- Age : 29 (Yes..old man...)
- Mood: Always trying to be happy...
- Favourite colour: White , Blue.
- One place you'd like to visit: Japan of course.

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
- Have you ever been in love?: Yes.
- Do you believe in love at first sight?: Yes.
- Do you currently have a crush?: Sadly...nope.
- Have you ever broken anyone's heart?: Don't think so...maybe?
- Have you ever been hurt emotionally?: Yup.
- Have you ever had your heart broken?: Yup x2.
- Have you ever liked anyone but is afraid of telling them? : Yup x3.
- Are you afraid of commitment? : Nope.
- Who was the last person you hugged?: Never did...although I wanted to.
- Who was the last person you said I Love You to?: Elder sister...a lot time ago LOL

TEN THIS OR THATS
- Love or lust?: Love.
- Hard liquor or beer?: Hard liquor...I don't really like the taste of beer.
- Cats or dogs?: 60% Cats, 40% Dogs.
- A few best friends or any regular friends?: A few best friends.
- Creamy or Crunchy?: Creamy.
- Pen or Pencil?: Pencil.
- Wild night out or romantic night in?: Romantic...I can't imagine how wild I can be...
- Money or happiness?: Happiness of course.
- Night or day?: Day.
- IM or phone?: Both.

TEN HAVE YOU EVERS
- Been caught sneaking out?: Yes...still don't know how did it happen...LOL
- Seen a polar bear? On TV and the Zoo.
- Done something you regret?: Yes, right now.
- Bungee jumped?: Will like to but nope.
- Eaten food that fell on the floor?: Sometimes...don't waste food. LOL
- Finished an entire jaw breaker?: Nope.
- Been caught naked?: Er...unless I went bonkers.
- Wanted an ex bf/gf back?: Nope...
- Cried because you lost a pet?: Did...rest in peace White.
- Wanted to disappear?: Yes...and things return to normal as if I was never born.

TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER
- Smile or eyes?: Smile.
- Light or dark hair?: Light.
- Hugs or Kisses?: Like both.
- Shorter or taller?: No preference.
- Intelligence or attraction?: Intelligence...the heart matters.
- Converse or Adidas?: Converse.
- Funny or serious?: Funny...because I look kinda serious at times.
- Older or Younger?: Younger.
- Outgoing or quiet?: Outgoing.
- Sweet or Bad?: Sweet...of course.

TEN HAVE YOUS
- Ever performed in front of a large crowd?: Yes...no stage fright here.
- Ever talked on the phone for longer than an hour?: Yes...done that with Zhengxian a long while back.
- Ever tried walking on your hands?: Yup...with someone carrying my legs...
- Ever been to a rock concert? Nope.
- Ever been on a cheerleading team? Yes...Bowenian Spirits!!!
- Ever been on a dance team?: Nope but will like to.
- Ever been on a sports team?: Nope.
- Ever been in a drama play/production?: Nope but does watching count?
- Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley?: Nope...not my type.
- Ever been in a rap video?: Haha...nope.

TEN LASTS
- Last phone call you made?: Sihao.
- Last person you hugged?: Jia Nian...a friendship hug. ^^
- Last person you hung out with?: Sihao and Chris Voon.
- Last time you worked?: 8 hours back. Working adult here LOL.
- Last person you talked to?: Sihao.
- Last person you IM'd to ?: Nicholas.
- Last person you texted?: William Ten Kelvin.
- Last person(s) you went to the movies with?: Chris Voon aka CaReBeAr and Sihao.
- Last person/thing you missed?: Japan!!!
- Last website visited?: www.anime-espada.com

TEN PEOPLE TO DO THIS SURVEY
1.Joel
2.Malcolm
3.Mun Chiew
4.Daniel
5.Valentine
6.Kane
7.Sion Kimura Shintaro
8.Richard
9.Sheylara
10.Clarence

1. Who own you heart?
No one?

2. What did you last get upset about?
For doing something stupid to a friend...

3. Who's your 5th sent message recipient?
William Ten Kelvin.

4. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Actually 3 persons...Huxley, Sihao and Zhengxian on my birthday.

5. Who was the last person you sat next to?
Sihao on the way back home.

6. Who was the last person you ate with?
Sihao and Chris Voon at Xin Cafe.

7. What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
Should be Coke...or Pepsi...

8. Where is the place you want to be right now?
Heaven...just joking...I want to visit Japan again.

9. When was the last time you cried?
Not too long ago...

10. What's your favourite song at the moment?
To The One I Love.

11. What were you doing at 11 last night?
Watching K-ON!

12. Who's near you?
Too much to name or rather don't know who to name.

13. What's bothering you right now?
Hoping he will forgive me...

14. Who was the last person to talk to you on the phone?
Sihao 'cos I got lost...LOL

15. Whose house did you go to last?
Huxley's to build his computer.

16. Who broke your heart?
Well, she didn't. But she almost broke my head. LOL

17. Honestly, do you love someone very much?
Well, a gal in the past...now it's just a memory.

18. Who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
A gal back in secondary school...name forgotten...

19. Who was the first person to text you today?
William Ten Kelvin asking about a cheap mouse...

20. Who was your last missed call on your cellphone?
Sihao...to make me call back...

21. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a conversation with?
My sister...?

22. Is there anything you want to say to someone special?
I'm really sorry. Please forgive me.

He Will Miss Them

2009-04-30T00:58:00.005+08:00

Today's Archz's last day at Nubox. But from what I see, he definitely will miss them.

He actually matured a lot learning from them. I can see his colleagues will miss him a lot since he brought so much joy and laughter to them.

As for me, I shall wait...patiently. ^^

are you being honest?

2009-04-27T10:44:00.003+08:00

I saw this quote while on the way home on the bus. Honesty is the first chapter to wisdom. I kinda agree with it. The problem with people nowadays is that they are not frank to each other. This will cause unwanted misunderstandings and conflicts. Without being honest to each other, you will not understand each other and always assume things for granted. I always make sure to know what those people around me are thinking or understand what problems there are between people around me like my friends.

Think of it in another perspective. For example, playing a guessing charade. People must have mutual understanding and communication in order for the last person to guess the answer. If someone add his or her own gesture, sometimes it helps but sometimes it become impossible to guess out the answer. It is kinda possible to see a person's character too. Those who think a lot will take a longer time or add his or her gesture. There is no such thing of being smart in the game. The last person has to be very observant and understanding about people's gestures in order to guess the answer.

I've been honest about things. That's why I seek out answers. If there's no honesty between us, how will we understand each other? No one's able or should guess or assume.

Fishy Business

2009-04-25T21:42:00.003+08:00

You said before when I was having problems with zX that we should talk it out peacefully. But today, when I tried to talk to you, you gave me the cold shoulder.

I know that you are not happy with me reminding about the payment for the dinner at F.I.S.H but I don't find any wrong in doing so. Firstly and ultimately, I never mentioned or implied it was a treat. I paid for all your behalves when both of you said that you all didn't have enough. If you want to talk about a unhappy person, it would be me on that day. I made all the way down to Tampines One, didn't get to shop at UNIQLO and ended up paying for the meal. I'm not saying I'm stingy. You all jolly know how generous I had been all the while.

I assumed that you all will return automatically. I also didn't chase after the money even when we met for pool. Seeing that we are meeting today, I decided to give a reminder last night.

You did return the money in the end. But seriously, I don't think I deserved the attitude you gave me today. Put yourself in my shoes and you will know how I feel. 谈钱伤感情...

Sweet 17th In April

2009-04-11T23:41:00.002+08:00

The day started when I made an excuse to travel all the way to Orchard to get that polo shirt from Lacoste....something he has been mentioning all the while. Sadly, the size and colour he wanted is already unavailable so I had to settle for the alternate design which I got zX to recon about. LOL.

When I showed him the gift that we got for him, I was kinda disappointed. Seems like he expected the gift as he wasn't surprised unlike zX's reaction when he knew that I got him a Razer mouse. Then after settling lunch, we proceed to find zX and Archz before checking in at the Peninsula Excelsior Hotel. For a start, I didn't suggest the hotel. LOL. After a short disturbance at the reception, we got up to our room, had fun exploring around then we made plans for the rest of the day.

We wanted to watch Knowing but the cinema hotline went dead on me. So we had to travel down to the cinema to try and buy tickets while it was raining cats and dogs...Actually the rain kinda spoiled the day as it rained continuously throughout the day. After knowing that we were getting bad seats, we settled for K-Box at Marina Square. We actually got the big room as the smaller rooms were out. Huxley sang quite a lot this time...and as usual...Jimmy and Qinghua were singing duets. Edmund sang a few songs too. Had quite a fun time watching them sing, especially watching Jimmy being an emcee and livening up the atmosphere.

Something unexpected happened though. When Huxley and me were singing a song, Jimmy was tickling Edmund. Seeing Edmund trying to block off the attack, I got hold of Edmund while Jimmy continued to tickle him. Suddenly, he went on all fours on the floor and was motionless for a while. I asked if he was okay and he said his stomach was in pain. After pulling him up, I realised he had a stomach cramp. Later on, I knew that Edmund can't stand being tickled for long. After massaging his stomach and asking him to regulate his breathing, he was okay. Seriously, his stomach was very hard when it was cramping. >_<

Then it was farewell to Jimmy, Edmund and Qinghua as they had to be back home early. Huxley and me met up with Archz n zX then went over to have dinner at the stingray place. After a short game at Cue Room, we went back to the hotel sans Archz. Well, the guys were pretty tired so they got into sleep after chitchatting for a long while, bathing and playing some games on my Wii. Next day, we had breakfast before departing on our ways to work and home.

As I said in the sms, I hope you enjoyed your birthday even though the rain kinda put us down for a while. Sorry about the wrong size...I really thought you could fit in a size 6....are you really that 'small'??? Once more, I wish you Huxley a Happy Sweet 17th Birthday!!! ^^

P.S: This short entry is for E.T. Like I told you, it's all in the mind. Your mind will affect your actions and consequences. If you have a strong mind, then you will not feel you are weak or make mistakes. You are a wandering soul because it's what you think of yourself as. There are definitely things to look forward to. Things that you want or can do. But of course, you have to fight for something if you want to achieve that something. No one control your fate or life because ultimately, you make your own decisions. It's a human's right that shouldn't be taken away by anyone.

Building Something From Scratch

2009-04-07T23:18:00.002+08:00

You know the greatest joy you get in life is when you create something out of nothingness. When you see the end product, you actually have a sense of accomplishment. Well, Huxley had fun watching us building his new computer while zX and I were kinda helping to build it.

It was an early trip today down to Sim Lim Square to buy the parts for his computer. But before we went there, zX went to J Co to get some donuts for his ex-colleagues. I tried Tira Miss U which I find it extreme sweet till I felt my face was cramping... After getting the parts, we proceeded to Huxley's house to build the computer.

And the fun began from there. zX had a shrewd order of installing which parts first. Then he was wondering if he had placed the CPU at the right spot which I knew he did. We struggled for a while trying to lock the CPU fan down to the motherboard. During the whole process, zX kept saying SHIT when he remembered he forgot to do something which had me rolling on the floor laughing...LOL. After a long two and a half hours later, the computer was ready to be tested. I have to compliment zX's way of arranging the spare cables inside the chassis. d=(^^,)

Then the nightmare came. zX began installing the operating system to the computer which was working on 2 hard disks. In order to backup existing data on to the new hard disk, he created a partition which later he threw the important data in. Then he proceeded to install a new operating system to the other partition on the new hard disk. When he tried to remove the old operating system from the old hard disk, he couldn't. Then we went trying various methods to solve a sudden problem...we couldn't get the new computer to boot up. In the end, we managed to solve it...which was after a long five hours....

We had dinner at Sun Plaza after installing the drivers for Huxley's computer. Huxley and me were making fun of zX who has been eating quite a lot lately. He's gifted in his genes anyway...well, he can eat a lot without the trouble of getting fat. But somehow, he is indeed getting bigger which we agreed it was good for him. He actually wore that skeleton shirt which fitted him to a T. Well, the shirt looks funny but when zX wore it, it looked great on him.

Huxley's birthday is coming soon. I'm still wondering what to get for him...maybe a game???

2nd Chance Missed Again

2009-04-01T21:34:00.003+08:00

I really can't believe myself... Why must I hesitate at the last moment always? Why I always miss them?

Well, moments ago, when I was on the train back home, I saw my old primary school classmate at the end of the cabin while I was on the other. The train stopped at Dhoby Ghaut and he was leaving with a friend. As he passed by my door, I wanted so much to shout his name then my mind was telling me if I made a mistake. In the end, the door closed and I missed him once more. The last time I saw him was years back when I was working and occupied. He was with a lady back then. Then last year, I missed a classmate too. When the kids and I was deciding where to eat for dinner, I saw an old classmate walked past me with a lady too. All I did was kept looking at him and do nothing...

Something must be awfully wrong in me. Why I keep repeating this mistake over and over!? God gave me a great April Fool joke today...

A 2nd Chance

2009-04-01T00:43:00.004+08:00

It turns out that I had my responsibility for causing a misunderstanding between zX and me. The misunderstanding shouldn't escalate if I didn't stand outside his shop to wait for his response. For that, once again, I am very sorry. And just to state a fact, you are wrong to say I treat you like a boyfriend. I treat all of you like caring for my younger brothers. And I know I do a bad job as I don't actually have younger siblings. LOL.

I am also sorry to Huxley whom I used to get zX to respond to me. Well, actually, I'm once again sorry to him for causing him to remember some sad memories. We went Vivo City today, a favourite haunt where he and Peina used to go. He looked rather down when he spoke of the places I don't know inside Vivo City and guided me around. He was rather indecisive about a pair of bermuda from River Island and in the end, he didn't buy it. -_-" There's a National Geographic museum there too and they sell related fashion merchandise surprisingly. We got stunned by the price of its polo shirt...$109. o.O Next, we went Bugis and had ice-cream which he recommended buying. When I asked him how many times he tried it, he went silent for a while before saying twice. I guess it's another favourite haunt too. Finally, we went to find zX after meeting up with Archz.

Conflicts arise when both parties fail to communicate or understand each other. zX should have told me that my actions are embarrassing him while I should have paid more attention to his feelings. But like I said, thanks for giving me a 2nd chance to be a better friend(or older brother to me...lol). As for the couple, Huxley should have been more tolerate while Peina shouldn't take things for granted. But it's just my 2 cents on it though.

Yummy Pork Chops!!!

2009-03-30T23:14:00.002+08:00

Well, Cafe Cartel seems to have a new set of menu and Black Pepper Pork Chops with Fries and Salad is a new addition. Huxley and me ordered it when we met up after work.

It's actually very tender till it is almost like fish meat. Huxley kept saying it was good...well...I rarely see him praising food. It's also nostalgic having dinner with him as I recalled having dinner with zX alone in Cafe Cartel in the past...

I'm not going to say much but can you stop behaving like a child? Can you stop escaping reality, stop hiding and running and face your problems? It seems you never change...you are still the old you...

What's Wrong Up There!?

2009-03-30T02:32:00.004+08:00

I guess so you will take a peek here to see what I am going to write about. And I hope you are able to make some sense after reading because I really feel there's something wrong with you.

I gonna repeat what I told you. Ever since our talk, I asked no further questions about where you are and who you are with. And to be actual, we didn't ask each other out for dinner or pool unless you-know-who comes. And when I got transferred to your place, I hope you remember what happened during these 4 days.

On Wednesday, I didn't ask you where you were during morning instead you texted me asking if I was going over to your workplace that day. Then you asked where I was. Finally, you asked me out to buy lunch at 1pm. I passed your shop a couple of times to have small talks with you. After work, we went to eat fried wanton mee with Huxley and played pool. We had ice-cream too. Then we took a cab home. Traces of me 'controlling' you? Nope.

Thursday, met on the morning train. I texted you whether to meet for lunch at 1pm and you agreed. Passed by your shop to have small talks. After work, we had McDonalds and chatted for a while. Home Sweet Home. Traces of me 'controlling' you? Nope.

Friday, didn't meet on the morning train. I came down to find you for lunch at 1pm and you said I was right on time. Passed by your shop to have small talks. After waiting for you for 30mins due to last minute customers, we went to the market to have carrot cake. Your colleagues were going to drink and you were not invited. Home Sweet Home. Traces of me 'controlling' you? Nope.

Saturday, didn't meet on morning train. Came down to find you for lunch and you said you bought. Later you texted me saying you having company dinner so not meeting for dinner. Passed by your shop and Valentino spoke to me. Passed by your shop and you ignored me by talking to your colleagues. Asked you if there weren't any customers and you just shrugged your shoulders. After being delayed for a while due to incorrect settlement in my shop after work, I bumped into you on the 3rd floor. You said you told me that you were having company dinner and I said I was on my way down. I left alone. Traces of me 'controlling' you? Nope. Traces of you behaving abnormally? Yes.

As for today, you know what the hell happened. It's pretty unreasonable for me to get such an attitude as I did nothing wrong. If you are facing pressure from your colleagues, why don't you say it out to us? And also do you think it's fair to us when you told your colleagues about our problems? Do you even expect them to be able to help you? Just by pulling some pranks?

And you compare Archz's attitude to yours. He didn't want to join us because he is short of money till payday. Although I do pay for pool but have you ever thought about additional food and transport? And for your information, when I was still in Funan, he would come up on his own and wait for me to go home together when I couldn't leave. I ask you on what grounds you are comparing him with?

Huxley asked me to talk to you but you gave me no choice. Don't say you have no problems with him because you are already finding one. I just hope you will realise what you have done.

The Call For Fatal Attraction

2009-03-21T11:33:00.006+08:00

I know we had it all sorted out but I feel I want to clear up some facts and summarize what we shared.

You definitely can choose who you want to go out with and do whatever you want. But when we tried to ask you out, you had to choose sides. You chose the fun side. And it becomes a norm which seems like you are avoiding us. You did still go out with us due to the reasons that our rest days are the same or there's nothing on on the fun side. No matter how you see it, it's a fact you did abandon us which to us it means we are no longer important to you in a sense.

It becomes clear that the misunderstandings we had is due to that you chose sides. And it appears that you favor the fun side due to the reason you are sick of going out with us. Frankly speaking, it doesn't sound pleasant to know that that was the reason. You said there are differences between the things we and they do but playing pool is a common activity we all do yet you chose the fun side. You never took the initiative to join us or try to invite us.

Is it a problem that I find you for dinner? Is it another when I visit you at the shop or booth? Why can't I?

You admitted there are changes in you and know there are things that you shouldn't say or do. How are you going to prevent similar issues to happen again? You suggested gathering both sides but if you have to choose sides again, which will you choose? It's definitely a dilemma which that's why I have always reminded you not to get too close to them initially. If you want to salvage our friendship, it's time to do and say something rather than just realizing your mistakes.

A song for you...Don't lose your friends in a moment of folly...

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

29th Wish

2009-03-19T21:31:00.002+08:00

Things weren't so bad after all...although it didn't go as planned. In the end, they had their own plan. So, we didn't go to sing which luckily to me, I had a bad sore throat due to cough. And we almost didn't go to the restaurant we suggested going. -_-"

Well, I ended up meeting them at 3pm at City Hall which I was deliberately cut off from them as they needed to go to my shop to get my birthday present. Then I was told they wanted to watch a movie sans Archz as he said he didn't like the movie. So we ended up watching Race to the Witch Mountain which to me, it's a nice movie. While waiting for the movie to start, we went playing pool. A personal reminder not to patrol the pool station at Marina Square. It's freaking expensive and their balls and cues are molding. Even the tables are stained.

After the movie, we took a lazy walk around while waiting for Archz to arrive. We ended up still eating at Yuki no Yaki after so much protest from zX and Huxley(which they had fun cooking their food later...) We ended up with excess food which they tried their best to hide them. Then it's home sweet home with a dose of zombie fun. LOL

While at home, I had the usual surprise from my sister. She got me a chocolate cake instead of the usual mango cake this year. Then I was playing and eating at the same time.

Thanks Zhengxian, Sihao and Huxley for their mouse although I had so much hinted a long time back but it still indeed came as a surprise though as I never expected a Lachesis. Thanks Yao Long for being the 1st person to greet me Happy Birthday. Thanks for all the greetings at the forums. I'm looking forward till next year's...haha...haiz....

Two Nine

2009-03-18T01:41:00.002+08:00

Seriously, looking at the figure kinda freaks me out. It's like a while ago I was in my twenties then now I'm one step closer to another. I am indeed getting old. Well, half of my life is over.

Thinking back, I done crazy things, disappointed people, made my parents and friends worried about me. But I believe it's a parcel of life. Life experience gained through trials and mistakes. And I will share it to my friends around me. I really can't imagine what could happen in the future. A prediction has told that the world will end at 2012. Will we able to exceed that?

Today, things are rather odd to me in some aspects. I'm not sure if I'm imagining things but somehow I felt there's something going on between those 3. Maybe a birthday surprise? Or a misunderstanding about to happen? I really hope it's not the latter or else I cry myself to death. Well, I did shed a few unknowingly thinking of the events that happen recently. Somehow, gaining confidence may lead to arrogance and ignorance. I hope he knows what's he doing.

Well, I gonna meet up with those 3 in a while. I hope my wish may come true.

One More To The 3

2009-03-17T01:19:00.003+08:00

Actually I wanted to say about something but seeing the date comes closer, I decided to have a happy entry for today.

Typically, I have a wishlist. Very simple. I want to have more money. LOL. Okay, now a bit more down to earth...erm...I want a Macbook Pro to replace the old one, a Sony PS3 for playing Bluray discs, a good camera for taking photos, someone to sponsor me a trip to Japan, buy me an apartment flat and a fairy who can turn my fats to muscle. Well, I did took quite a while to think what nonsense I can think of but being me, I just wish all things go well around me and my friends. Hey, I'm no longer young...have to think more realistic. HA~

To end it off, I still want to let off some steam... What's wrong about friends visiting you when you are working? No one minded when you visited me. I really don't get it...

A Change Of Hands

2009-03-11T02:42:00.002+08:00

Times are bad...really so bad that it's suffocating. I just hope things will turn for the better but really he's getting on my nerves. Call it favoritism or maybe homosexuality...those two look disgusting together. May they'll be happily ever after. -_-"

Well...not really want to start this entry negatively but I am human after all. Okay, the guys are almost done with their holidays and preparing for enrollment to their polytechnics. It's a shame that zX didn't manage to get into IT in NYP but at least he's in IT in RP. Archz needs a lot of luck to be able to go into RP or else he should really retake his O levels. Definitely, it will be a new start for them and there are many surprises in store for them. LOL.

I should be starting to commence my plan since somehow I am forced to. Well, it's kinda of an opportunity or even an excuse since I've been kinda slacking. But I really hope things will go well. Well, I should have realised it much younger. At least, I could have enjoyed myself more. But then, I'm really interested to look at that person's prowess. Well, I have one year to pull it off.

I find myself losing concentration easily recently like I've been trying to finish watching one episode of Hitman Reborn and the next time I know...I hear my alarm clock. Yup, I dozed off while watching. ^^:

What Goes Around, Comes Around

2009-03-01T23:20:00.005+08:00

Recently, I kinda had a small discussion with Archz about how we felt about being alive. Well, he believes that his existence is trivial and wish that his life can be over soon. As for me, I am afraid of death. But it's not the process itself but the thought of leaving those I love behind saddens me. It kinda explain the characteristics of me and Archz as in I care about my friends while Archz is unassured about himself.

There's a reason why we are born in this world. For me, I am the only son after 2 daughters. We may lead different lives but we do have roles for this world. In an extreme perspective, even if you are a psychopath or a murderer, that's what you are born to be. Imagine if the world is perfect without war and conflict. Imagine if you have all the good karma in life. There's a reason why there are always 2 sides to everything, it will make life balanced. The people we meet during our short lives are predestined. Some will say they don't believe in fate but to me, if I never lead my current life, I wouldn't have met those people I know now. Like I always say, cherish those you know and live life to the best. Think what you can do rather than what you want to do.

I notice the weakness of people nowadays is that we expect people to do something for us or make the first step. Then when no one does anything, people start blaming each other or misunderstanding each other. So I just want to say this, if you want people to suit you, please think if you have done anything to suit them first. What goes around, comes around.

Well, the new song in the blog is the ending theme for Gundam 00 2nd Season. A new song by Yuna Ito who sang Endless Story for the Japanese movie Nana. I love my friends so this song kinda speaks of my feelings towards them, especially him. LOL. I'm not going to print the lengthy lyrics so I gonna link it. Enjoy! ^^

Trust You lyrics...

An Apology

2009-02-23T22:16:00.003+08:00

First, thanks for the encouraging words from Archz and Huxley. I realised I made a mistake therefore I'm very sorry. Huxley may blame me for other reasons but I know I definitely shouldn't have done what I had done. You definitely have the choice to do whatever you see fit.

So once again, I'm very sorry, zX. m(_ _)m

Who Can You Trust

2009-02-22T13:48:00.002+08:00

Someone asked me what I regretted doing in my life after reading my previous entry. Well, no one will love to wash their dirty linen in public but I'm just going to mention just one of them. I hope someone will understand too.

There's a slang people say about having tea with police. I had tea with them once. Once was enough. Well, I didn't go clubbing till I was 18. I was working part-time during that time and I lost my wallet too. I had a replacement letter. My colleague invited us to join them to enjoy the music and being curious that time, I decided to follow him. We went Zouk. I couldn't get in as they couldn't accept my letter as proof. I decided to go home but my colleague told me to try to smuggle myself in a crowd getting in. Being foolish, I tried. It failed of course and I was arrested. My parents had to come to pick me up after Zouk decided not to pursue the matter. After returning to work the next day, I got the greatest humilation I got in my life. The very colleague who came up with all the ideas said I was just plainly 'suay' and was laughing at my ordeal. I quitted the next day.

Therefore I draw a clear line between colleagues and friends. I will look out for myself and not allow my colleagues to affect my decision. Colleagues are not obliged to help you unlike friends. I cherish my friendships more than anything.

How You Hold

2009-02-20T16:26:00.003+08:00

I was thinking of something mentioned to me last night. I kinda pondered over it on bed too.

Some people say if you hold on to sand tightly, you will end up losing more sand than you had. I agree on this point. But if you think on a different perspective, what if you are holding on with one hand? We have 2 hands. Will that mean we are doing things 'half-heartedly'? What if we use both hands to cup the sand? Will that mean we are doing our best?

I hope things don't turn out to be as bad as it is now. It's been quite an emotional week for me...

Protect? Possess?

2009-02-17T21:38:00.003+08:00

Am I being too possessive? Or am I just being too protective?

To be honest, I hate myself. I hate my life. I hate myself for not doing my exams well. Twice. I regret what I had done to my life. How I wish I can travel back in time and undo those stupid actions. Living on regrets may make people stronger but they are indeed bad memories. Memories I would rather not have. At all.

That is why I keep reminding those around me to think twice and consider well before making any decisions. Urge those juniors to study well and not follow my footsteps. Pay caution to people you might learn outside or at work. Learn to say no to things that don't benefit you at all. Most importantly, be rational and know there are people that care about you.

I can't deny people might feel I'm trying to control their lives or making choices for them. But frankly, I'm just reminding out of goodwill and concern. I'm the type that if my friends are walking into a mine field, I will warn them. You can ultimately make your choices and decisions. But I hope you make the best ones. I'm a living example of regret and I don't want those I know to follow suit. This world has too much regret to begin with...

I would like to thank Huxley for your compliment about my English. Yes, I'm from ITE. For the record, you are the 1st person that complimented about it. (^^,)>>

Brotherhood

2009-02-17T01:39:00.002+08:00

Well, I guess this term gets to be used for a lot of situations. But how do we define a person as a 'brother'?

Best friends are so called 'brothers'. They look out, take care and trust each other. There should be no room for lies and hesitation.

Talking about brotherhood, the expansion for Grand Theft Auto IV is coming in later. Well, it's also a story about a brotherhood of bikers which get into trouble with each other. I think I will get it at a later time.

Who Needs Who

2009-02-16T02:26:00.006+08:00

You know it's kinda stressful and tiring when you must juggle 3 games at the same time. Street Fighter IV just recently came out and I had a good time enjoying every possible bouts I get. Then recently, everyone went into Left 4 Dead and of course, I followed suit. Finally, I'm neglecting my characters in World Of Warcraft although I tried to squeeze some time playing. My solution? SFIV then WoW then L4D. Reason? Simple. If there are no challengers on SFIV, there's no point staying on LIVE. I could play my WoW while waiting for everyone to be ready for L4D then resuming it after the shootout.

Everyone work for the sake of earning money. In some cases, work requires teamwork which means interacting with colleagues for the sake of work. And in some cases, colleagues react with each other just for the sake of learning or passing time. We also interact with colleagues after work. But then, in such circumstances, are we really interacting with each other or accidentally meddling with each others' personal lives?

Well, it's not that we can't learn new friends through work. But the same thing applies...there are good and bad people around. We must be able to judge for ourselves. Therefore, it's important to know who are your friends and be rational.

You Can Finally Run

2009-02-09T22:28:00.003+08:00

Well, I don't know it was going to be that fast but my pet rabbit passed away at 3pm today. Few weeks back, we had noticed it had difficulty standing up and it was getting thinner although it was proper fed. We all felt its time was up.

It was just 2 rabbits given to my sister as a birthday gift 10 years back. The other rabbit had passed away much earlier. This rabbit was strange. Typically, rabbits love carrots but for my pet rabbit, it loves apple. Everytime, when I cut a half of an apple or a whole, it would eat so delightfully. And I enjoyed the times feeding it its pellets one by one. And it would stomp its foot when it was seeking attention. But now, they will be just memories.

Seriously, I don't like the feeling of losing a loved one. But it's fate. My tears will only last for tonight.

I don't know if you will know it but we love you always. Sorry for not giving you the freedom that you seek. Now you can finally run to anywhere you want. It's been nice knowing you, White-White-To...

It's Time To Do Something

2009-02-02T09:51:00.002+08:00

Well, this entry is more or less a reminder to myself. It's really about time to start the plan. No point admiring or envying other people and doing things that only satisfy for a short while. I can also be like them. They are just living examples that I can refer to.

I can make a difference. I will do something! ^^

Still Alive

2009-01-26T00:18:00.004+08:00

Mirror's Edge is truly a breathtaking game. Not only the PhysiX 9 engine didn't fail to wow me, but the theme song is another. Actually when I heard the music from the trailer, I knew it's something cool. So here goes the lyrics and not forgetting to wish all my friends a Happy Lunar New Year!!! Kai out! ^^

I have changed, I have changed
Just like you, just like you
For how long, for how long must I wait
I know there's something wrong
Your concrete heart isn't beating
And you tried to make it come alive
No shadows, just red lights
Now I'm here to rescue you, oh..

[Chorus]
Ooo..I'm still alive, I'm still alive
I can't apologise, no..
Ooo..I'm still alive, I'm still alive
I can't apologise, no..

So silent, no violence
But inside my head so loud and clear
You're screaming, you're screaming
Cover up with a smile I've learned to fear
Just sunshine and blue sky
That's just how it goes for living here
Come fire, come fire
Let it burn and love come racing through

[Chorus]

I've learned to lose, I've learned to win
I've turned my face against the wind
I will move fast, I will move slow
Take me where I have to go

[Chorus]

A New Spin Of Fate

2009-01-12T09:04:00.002+08:00

Well, I always feel upset on this day even it has no more relations with me anymore. But I know I've been through it before and hated myself for causing it. This time round, it's just 3 different persons that's going through it.

Today's the release of the O Level results. They are releasing it much earlier one year after another. zX, Archz and Hux are going to see what fate has in store for them later in the afternoon. zX is so stressed over it that he had a nightmare about the results but I believe he can make it. I believe you all can make it.

No matter the results you all get, you should all seek the best option for yourselves. I can only stand back and pray hard. Good luck! ^^

A New Year Has Arrived

2009-01-01T23:19:00.003+08:00

Well, actually the 1st day of the new year is about to be over as I typed this entry. Last night, I celebrated the arrival of the new year and Kianz's birthday at Downtown East along with the guys and his friends. It was quite a cool event. Played Tatsunoko VS Capcom with Yan who kept trying to defeat the godly me. LOL.

Happy New Year to all I know and best wishes for the new year. We gonna make it through. Looking back at 2008, I like to thank some people. Thanks to those who shared their happiness and joy with me, it's been quite a blast we had for 2008. Thanks to those who shared their problems with me although I don't know whether my advice or solutions helped at all. Thanks to those who shared their tears and sorrow with me although I neither may not have offered the best solutions nor being a proper example. I also like to apologise for all the mistakes I could have made for the past year.

Finally for the new year, it's about time I make a difference. And to kick off the plan, I have decided to change my name. But just for information how did I get my name. Well, my elder sister gave it to me. Well since she called herself Amy, she thought of a name that start with a A. We agreed on Asmon initially but later I changed it to Acemon since the former can be taken as a joke. But in the end, as all knows, all who I know just call me Ace. This new name is actually no different from the old but it will make much sense since Acemon is actually derived out of a certain formula. Esmund is the new name I will be keeping forever. Thanks to Julian who mentioned it when I introduced myself to him initially. ^^

And oh ya, it's my 201st entry for the blog!!! WOOHOO

Merry Xmas 2008

2008-12-25T23:49:00.002+08:00

Got to post this before the day's over. Actually celebrated it with zX and Archz at Singapore River drinking beer. A round of applause for zX as he finally managed to finish ONE can of beer. And he suddenly became amusement for us.

Firstly, he started to laugh uncontrollably. Then he started seeing things and hearing things. Like he keep saying his fingers were stained but actually there were nothing on it. But I didn't expect him to be fully drunk as he could still walk and analyze things. Disaster always struck at the last moment. As we got on the train back home, he kept complaining of feeling unwell, hot and having a headache. He kept lowering his body which is pretty bad if you are drunk. Soon enough, he started to vomit in the train onto his uniform. Then he started to shiver like he was having cold turkey. The mess was still manageable but I heard from Archz that he vomited a second time at Sembawang which cost Archz's uniform as well...lol.

Everyone has to go through this if they want to drink. Haha. Merry Xmas to all I know and a Happy New Year ahead of us. Hope we will pass through the ordeal and recession!!!

The More The Merrier

2008-12-20T02:26:00.003+08:00

It's been a while since the guys started their 1st formal work at Newstead and I believe they had learnt something new about themselves. For example, Sihao's glib tongue can actually be used for a good cause and Zhengxian learns to be more aggressive and confident. Seems they are enjoying their work life as they met and learned how to handle different kinds of people and finally realise how to value money. As for me, I get to see them much for dinner and chitchat and for a new start, a better bond to the shop.

Huxley just came back from Hong Kong and brought back some clothes as souvenirs. Thanks for the shirt, Huxley. I will be wearing it for the weekend. LOL. And by the way, it's hi to Jimmy! Yo! So nice of you to drop by my humble blog!! ^^ Hope we will meet up much!

I feel like playing World Of Warcraft but I am pretty much torn between whether to play with who. Edmund is in Nagrand, Sihao might be inside a private server while Leon is in Frostmourne. I really don't feel justified to play a MMO alone and yet pay a certain amount monthly. Just like the genre of the game, it's fun to play with others. World Of Warcraft is worth to get back into but I will miss my Tauren Male Druid.

Christmas is coming in 5 days time and then a brand new year. I have made some plans for the new year and I hope I can establish a certain goal within 2 months. One look at the weighing machine proved fatal. 80Kg. I guess it takes a miracle... ^^

First Day On The Job

2008-12-10T02:52:00.000+08:00

Today, things turned out to be wonderful to Zhengxian. Not only he finally got the parts to assemble his new computer, he managed to get his 1st proper job together with Sihao. They will be working with Newstead, a company that I'm familiar with as the shop sells software to them. Well, they did a one day job weeks back but I doubted they will get any proper working experience there since it's just stocktaking. I feel that Zhengxian might be easy on the job since he is a geek on computer stuffs while Sihao is a newbie to it. But don't we learn how to walk? LOL

Kinda bring me back to the time when I was forced to look for a job. Which was my 1st job. Holidays came and the folks at home didn't want me to stay at home and waste time so I had to look for a job. At that time, I didn't know the possible ways to look for one and relied on the papers. I was looking for vacancy in a gameshop which of course didn't happen at that time. Out of desperation and a slight burst of interest, I set foot into Lawman. Yup, the company that did the infamous 'soft' jeans. And it was a roller coaster ride.

Being a quiet person, I went through a hard time communicating with customers and of course my colleagues. But there was something in me that brought the change finally. I love to watch people. As in watching how they react and speak thus mimicking them or absorbing their traits and improvise. And the stay at Lawman didn't just become a school holiday event, it became a profession. Till that day when that crazy event happened, I bid farewell to Lawman. But I learned a lot from the experience. Actually, in fact, I got invited back when they were having manpower shortage. I refused since I was getting paid 'peanuts'.

Looks like I will have some accompany on the way to work and back. Just hope that they get stationed at Funan. I wonder how they will look in the uniforms... (^o^)>>

Diamond Crevasse

2008-12-05T03:01:00.000+08:00

I just finished watching Macross Frontier and I feel this song is kinda real in the message it's trying to bring across. Written by Gabriella Robin aka the famous Yoko Kanno and sung by May'N who was in town for the Anime Festival Asia 2008 a couple of weeks back.

When I was still in love with god,
I never expected such a farewell would come.
If I had known I could never feel your touch again
I would've hoped to be embraced just one last time

It's long long good-bye...

Goodbye, goodbye, so many times,
I repeated the word to myself,
Waving my hands. It's only graceful, right?
Now, I long to be stronger

I met you, the stars sparkled, and I was born.
I love you, therefore I am.
What good is waiting for a hopeless miracle?
Through my tear-filled vision, the planet's twinkle is gone...

I can't ever forget your warmth,
Your kindness, and your all-encompassing hands.
It's long long good-bye

Goodbye, goodbye, my beloved.
I came this far because you were here.
I wasn't alone, was I?
Now, I long for answers

Catch a falling star that looks ablazed and light a fire,
I still want to love, and I still want to be loved.
What good is a lone freezing body to this world?
I long for you to finally drop your act...

What's wrong? Why can't I stop my tears from overflowing?

I met you, the stars sparkled, and I was born.
I love you, therefore I am.
What good is waiting for a hopeless miracle?
Through my tear-filled vision, the planet's twinkle is gone...

If we are reincarnated and can meet again some day,
Please find me and hold me tight,
And make sure you don't let go again.
I wish the planet would whisper to me that I'm not alone...

Sweet Sixteen

2008-12-05T02:21:00.000+08:00

To me, it's a memory. The time when everything is fresh and new and you are the most daring to try out new things. The period of time where we did our 1st time in certain things. To this guy, it's a ticket to be able to play pool without being inspected for underage entry.

Well, on Monday, we celebrated Zhengxian's and Edmund's 16th and 17th birthday respectively at Downtown East. It was a day which Zhengxian had been anxiously waiting. My gift would be a surprise to him and I believe he would enjoy his stay there. Other than my Wii being a top favourite at the premise, the accompany of his good friends wouldn't be any better. Jimmy and Qinghua managed to stay for one day and night and I have to say Jimmy is a natural of being entertaining. Other being a commentator at the BBQ, he played Wii Baseball in a way I thought he was playing table tennis. It is always nice to see him being supportive and jovial on the event.

The next day, Wild Wild Wet awaits us. It was my 1st time there and I feel it loses way out than the former Fantasy Island on Sentosa. The rides there are kinda designed for the faint-hearted except for one, it gives the thrill of a roller coaster ride. And I am beginning to regret going there as well as I got myself a bad sunburn. I supposed I baked myself for too long during the Sky Ride with Jimmy. We went 2 turns while the rest did once.

After returning home on the 3rd day, I received a call from Zhengxian stating how surprised he was when he opened my gift. Well, I got him a mouse he was planning to get. Then we were supposed to meet up later but it never happened since everyone was tired.

I hope you have enjoyed your Sweet Sixteen as much as I do, Zhengxian. We will do a better job for Sihao's next year!!! Y(^^)Y

Making Changes

2008-11-21T00:31:00.000+08:00

On Wednesday, I did something I have been trying to avoid doing for a long time. That is...erm...stepping on a weighing machine. Well, the very last time I weighed myself seems very long back...maybe during army or whatever...I was 70kg back then. Pretty obvious that there's some changes right? Yes, I am lighter...or rather I feel lighter...I am 79kg. I just hope that there is really something wrong with the weighing machine because I didn't really eat a lot...well as in snacking or taking in deep fried stuffs massively. Furthermore, Sihao who is younger, shorter than me and wears the same jean size is close to 70kg. But then, 9kg in 6 years is still trivial but losing it off will be a problem.

Okay, I weighed myself at the Yishun Clubfit with the guys. Surprisingly, it was packed in the afternoon when we went. It rained after we got there. But it didn't stop after we were done with our routine. So we sat outside waiting for the rain to stop. A nice gentleman picked us up in his mini-van and drived us to Northpoint. I think I did a good job of masking my real age by keeping quiet and let the guys do the chitchat. LOL.

We walked around the new extended Northpoint. There's a Japanese food court on top of the new extension which kinda interested us. Sihao bought a can of Qoo juice and a box of mini chocolate biscuits which he deemed very cute. We will be back to try the food up there. It was also new to me since it had been a long time since I dropped by Northpoint. I tried getting Zhengxian to come along but he was busy preparing for his trip to Taiwan. Hope he will enjoy his trip there. ^^

Well, I've been thinking of doing a vlog. Think it will be fun to do that. Maybe my next entry?? LOL!

Departure

2008-11-12T23:59:00.000+08:00

Well, today's kinda like liberation for the ~~kids~~ guys as they have finished sitting for their final paper yesterday. Although it's a MCQ that took about a week to come. But it also marks the end of their secondary school life. It's goodbye to their teachers, friends and of course, their precious memories that occurred in school. To me, I had the same experience 12 years back. I still remember what we all did during that day. LOL.

Today, they decided to change their look. One went to have a haircut and dyed his hair. The other went on a shopping spree for new clothes. For the rest, I just say they had their own private time doing wonderful shopping. LOL. Sihao took a liking for a black shirt at Flexor at Far East Plaza with the words "Departure" which kinda reminded me of the things that represent departure to them. They departed from a phase of life, learning environment, stress, peer pressure and a special person...

And I finished watching 命中注定我爱你 finally. It's definitely one of the best Taiwan drama serials I saw and the artists did their characters well. Although it has a slack ending...but I like one of the songs inside. It brings out the saddest moments in the drama and I confess I did shed a few tears when I heard this song playing during the show. It also kinda tells a true story that I know of...

花接受凋零
风接受追寻
心的伤还有一些不要紧
我接受你的决定

你将会被谁抱紧
唱什么歌哄他开心
我想著天空什么时候会放晴
地球不曾为谁停一停

你的明天有多快乐不是我的
(我的明天快不快乐都是我的)
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了
伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人残念的总是未完成的
我只能唱著一半的歌
(另一半的歌)

The Regulars

2008-10-31T04:18:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm posting because someone ask for it. Joking! It seems it's about time to update bits of my life again.

In short, life's still the same. The End. Finale. Game Over. Wait for my next entry! LOL!

Okay, back on a serious track, nothing interesting actually happens lately except that today I saw a rare scene outside the shop. Well, most people know that I have game demos running on the computer and there's a Xbox 360 beside it. And maybe most wouldn't know is that I have regulars playing the demos. It seems that they will never get tired of playing them. I think I should introduce them a little.

There are these two Vietnamese brothers that will patron the booths. Especially the elder brother, David. Seems like he never get tired of shooting games. His younger brother is more to action games. They usually come early afternoon and leave before dinner while going for their English lessons in between. Then there's this Brazilian guy who used to come with a bunch of Korean kids. They are also learning English at a school near my workplace. This guy is a professional at shooting games. He can get very serious looking when he played any shooting games. Then there's this weird mixed blood Secondary 2 kid. He's quite skinny for a start and he wears a pair of spectacles with a broken frame. He babbles a lot about shooting games but when it comes to playing, it seems like he's just having fun performing mass genocide. Then there's this tall and lanky guy. He is always quiet till today I saw him speak. He look kinda psychotic to me somehow.

On every Saturday, I will see three familiar faces. There are these two cousins who will attend dance classes a few units away. They will always run in and try to be the fastest one to secure a place. Then there's Clarence. A pleasant, well-mannered guy who will drop by to take a look at the new PC games although what he has is a normal laptop. He's taking piano lessons. If you look at his attire and looks, you will be mistaken that he might be a trendy person but in fact, he's naive to the outside world. He likes action games. I've been trying to psycho him to get a new PC.

Oh ya, what weird thing had happened today? Well, the mixed blood kid was playing Fracture on the Xbox 360 and it seems he got stranded in some stage. The Brazilian was helping the kid out by teaching him and for the 1st time, the tall and lanky guy spoke up as well. And not to mention, their discussion induced a little crowd swarming around them. LOL!

It's fun to see all kinds of people when you are outside. And a quick look at the time, I think I will be lacking of sleep later. Damn Zhengxian had his fun of playing Call Of Duty 4 while exams ain't over yet. Well, to them, the important papers are over so they wanted to relax a little...haiz

Spin Your Fairy Tale

2008-10-18T13:19:00.000+08:00

No one sees life's a bed of roses
You have to make some choices
You won't know what's beyond here

No one sees life's a bed of roses
But it's full of surprises
Life is yours
A fairy tale of your own

I had an interesting talk with a friend last night. He actually took me by surprise as I had never expected him to say such things. Maybe due to stress and expectations? Or he was just confused why is he working hard to reach his goals while others are wasting their time away? Or maybe he has already grown to be more confident and independent in doing things?

Life is like a fairy tale. We spin our own fairy tale. We decide who we want to be and what we want to do. Just like a fairy tale, there's bound to be ups and downs. That is why we love a fairy tale in the first place. We always expect a "happily ever after" ending and want to know what has the hero and the heroine gone through. We have to create that kind of ending ourselves.

To Huxley, Sihao and Zhengxian, wish you all the best in your O levels. To Jia Nian, wish you have good results for PSLE. And also to all that I know, wish you all the best in everything you all do. We are all now spinning our own fairy tales. (^o^)y

When It's Time To Let Go...

2008-10-13T02:58:00.000+08:00

迷路兵's latest album is out and I like particularly this song. Not only it holds a meaning to me as well as two people I know. A interesting fact is that the lyrics are penned by Project Superband host Dasmond Koh. Click on the title on the right to see the music video. Enjoy! ^^

无形的翅膀

如果我是你的天使
我会脱下
我最珍贵的翅膀
在你毫不查觉的时候
慢慢地将它套在你身上

我会用温柔的眼神
再对你说别犹豫尽情飞翔
不管时间过得多漫长
我都希望你快乐成长

给你这一双无形的翅膀
让你漫天遨游自在地去闯
世界再辽阔梦想就在前方
一旦认清方向就不要停航

给你这一双无形的翅膀
让你漫天遨游自在地去闯
只要心存希望勇敢畅游飞翔
只要充满信心没人能将你阻挡

Crazy Woman

2008-10-10T23:45:00.000+08:00

A few days back, I saw the same crazy woman who accused me of stalking her at the bus-stop. And the most crazy part, she began to warn a old lady who was sitting beside her about me. But I'm not sure if they are related or not. Then the bus came and we got onto the same bus. Inside, she kept a constant lookout at me. When the bus reached the MRT station, I got off and could see her looking for me on the bus. Then she got off too. I just continued my way to work.

I think I need to do some explaining here. First and most importantly, I have done nothing. I do not even know her. Our first encounter happened when I was rushing to work, I walked to the roadside to hail a cab. Then she stopped me asking me whether I lived in the block she was pointing at. I said yes and she started to warn me about me peeping at her. I said I didn't and she might have mistaken me for someone else. But she kept on saying I lied and she had taken photos of me doing it. A cab came and I said I need to go. She let me go warning me not to do it again while mumbling the same thing as she moved off. On the cab, I realised I might be the one being stalked as she said she had visual evidence.

Just on speculation, she could be living on top of me since she claimed she do know exactly where I stay. Well, it's not a matter of bad blood but constantly my family has a problem of getting our clothes dry as the family living on top hangs their clothes wet. My parents complained to them before but it persisted. In the end, we just hang our clothes when they are not hanging theirs. And the best part, if she is really our neighbour on top, she could possibly be a teacher. Now this is scary...Imagine a lunatic teaching in a school.

I hope I won't encounter her again. If she dare to do something funny, I do what she want. Call the cops. Hougang Chalet will welcome her gladly. ^^

All That I Need

2008-10-02T02:38:00.000+08:00

If there's another song that I won't forget, it would be this song. Bring back some memories and I'm glad I've moved on. Enjoy!

Corrinne May - All That I Need

I'm sorry that I hurt you
I took for granted all you gave so freely to me
I prayed it's not too late
To save you from a broken heart
To promise you I'll make a brand new start
Believe me when i say

You are all that I need
The only treasure I see
You're the air that helps me breathe
Through the darkest night
When I fall down on my knees
I was blind but now I see
You are all that I need

When no one far from perfect
Like a child that needs a guiding hand
Can you stay here with me
I finally understand
You've always been the missing part
Complete the jigsaw puzzle of my heart
Please hear me when i say

~Chorus~

Please let me hear your voice again
Let me hear you say your love will never end
That whatever it takes you'll be there
When I say

~Chorus~

You are all that I need...

Two String Violin

2008-09-23T23:24:00.000+08:00

It's been a long while I come up with a ballad. The song pops in when I kinda processed what I see and heard for these few months. Basically, it's like that someone crying out but I shall leave it a secret as in who I'm referring to.

Think it's well about time I start to really learn to play the piano. Been trying to find a chance to do it and I even bought a Creative Prodikey to help me. Which I found in the end it might be a bit troublesome.

My favourite piano piece is something that's quite unique. It's called Wind Crest The Three Trails. It's from the game Final Fantasy X2. The reason why I like it is that the tune seems to tell a story and I feel almost the song is alive on its own. It's been a dream that I want to master the piece.

Oh ya, Street Fighter IV is finally out. And the game kinda rocks. Too bad, it's a bit off balance. But I know once that guy is unlocked, I will unleash hell. LOL

Tired...

2008-09-14T22:55:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I feel really tired. I don't know if it's work related or the lifestyle I'm having. I confess I don't workout much but I also don't eat junk food much. So, I also have no idea how I gained weight. But I do have plans to fix that...just that time is once again not on my side...

The holidays are coming. Their exams are coming. And the boys are facing stress from all kinds of problem. School, peers, love and even themselves. Sometimes, life is pretty demanding and we would find ways to meet the demands. Then we will eventually think of giving up when faced with all odds. Please bear in mind that life is full of obstacles, big or small. It's just how you cope with them.

Let's just hope things be better as time goes by. ^^

Love Or Be Loved

2008-09-06T10:30:00.000+08:00

I always wonder if it's better to be loved or love someone. Of course, people yearn to be loved. But then, they are individuals who love a particular person. And not to mention that there are people who love someone and also be loved by someone at the same time. It's just often that they are ignorant of the latter.

People say there's a thing call the power of love. I do agree so as I have seen crazy things people do. Sometimes it also changes the person too. From zero tolerance to 100% patience. From fat to fit. Basically a total change from the old personality. But I have also seen how it can destroy a person too. Over-possessive of the other sex, suspicion, jealousy, cowardice and obsession. In a particular case I know, he has been in a crush with someone for a long time. But due to lack of confidence, he's been holding and hiding his feelings for her. Till now, he finally decides to make a difference.

To be loved is a blessing for most people. But it also can be a cruel punishment for others. Often, people enjoy the sensation of being loved without noticing what impact it might cause to others. Especially those who are loved by more than one individual. Ignorance often cause hurt and pain. There are also people who indulge to seek love but turns blind eyes to others who might love them. In the same case I mentioned, she is also seeking to be loved but she is unaware or ignorant of the fact that she is actually loved by someone.

Love is like 1000 Words eager to be said.

Those thousand words
Have never been spoken
So far away
I'm sending them to you wherever you are
Suspended on shiny wings
Those thousand words
Have never been spoken
They cradle you
Making all of that years feel like lonely days
And hold you forever

I Am Not Superman

2008-08-25T00:10:00.000+08:00

Well, on Saturday night, HBO showed the movie Superman Returns which I believed my maid didn't watch as she kept saying it looks different from what she saw aeons back. And she totally engrossed in the movie...well...any exciting movie to be frank. The movie has a part where Superman fly skyhigh with Louis Lane and he asks her what can she hear. Of course as a human, she hears nothing but to Superman he hears everything. He hears the cries for a Saviour. This got me thinking for a while.

I am not Superman. Definitely. I don't have superhuman strength, run at supersonic speeds, shoot beams from my eyes or fly. But then, somehow, I am Superman. 'Cos we share the one thing in common. A Samaritian heart.

People usually will find me a nag or a busybody as I tend to poke my nose into their businesses. But to me, it's my way of showing concern. I'll give my opinions and advice to those (who I feel) will need them. I don't care whether they will remember or take them but at least I know I have done my part as a friend or a senior. I am not like Superman who is respected by his chivalry or who he is. But frankly speaking, I feel weak and useless when my good intentions got rejected or misunderstood...

Someone told me not to be disappointed. For my advice and words, they could be stepping stones or memories for others to rely on in the future. I should not expect rewards or thanks. Even Superman can't save everyone all the time. Everyone has their own life to take of and they have the right to decide on their own what's good for them. So, I just live my life too, being a 'busybody'. No one can change that. Lol!

I just hope things don't become what I expected. I will be always around to those who need my advice. ^^

History Lesson

2008-08-18T23:42:00.000+08:00

JN just shared a saying he found quite meaningful to him after reading my enlightening entry. Learn from history, else it will repeat itself. Which I agree totally. We must learn from mistakes and try not to do the same mistakes we or others make.

Something Meaningful...

2008-08-18T01:46:00.000+08:00

Finally got a chance to watch Kungfu Panda today. Quite a show of enlightenment. I like to share these meaningful phrases from the movie. Yesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery but today's a gift. That is why it's called a present. People indeed indulge in regretting or dwelling the past while fantasizing or making false hopes for the future. It only matters what you do and treasure now the most. Be it making improvements or making efforts in all the things you do. No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange but you will get a peach.

I have always regard my life as imperfect but this does not give me the reason not to make a difference or rather value my own life. I do wish to make a difference and I do try my best. But surely, things don't happen as planned so I always tell myself that maybe it's not meant for me and maybe there's something better out there. Or I need to work harder...there is always a second chance. I know it does sound like lying to myself but it's definitely better than to sit there and cry. As the saying goes, you get up from where you fall. If a 11 year old kid can understand that, I don't find a reason why some people can't.

Things don't always look as simple as it seems. For example, a rose is beautiful but if you are not careful enough, you might get pricked by its thorns. Have you ever wondered why does a bug still extract nectar from a Venus Flytrap even knowing it might be the last thing it does? 'Cos it can't resist the aroma of the nectar. Temptation or peer pressure can cause people to misjudge or blind themselves, doing things that differs from their principles. They might not only cause harm or trouble to themselves but to others as well.

In life, things don't always happen the way you thought it to be. You may imagine or even dream of an incredible life but once the dream is over, it's over. You will have to face reality, face the world and of course yourself. You may wish to run, avoid or even change your appearance but under all the makeup, disguise and shimmering items, it's still the same you. Time indeed can change a person but you cannot alter time. Time is also our existence. We take control of time and not others to control ours. Thus, we create our own future and not the future makes us.

A Season Of Loneliness

2008-08-12T23:44:00.000+08:00

The Beijing Olympics has started and I have to say I had watched the best opening ceremony in my life. Then came our tiny...and...still memorable National Day. Also the World Cyber Games for Singapore ended. Thanks to the Japan DOTA team for their purchases of the Razer Diamondback 3G. LOL. Oh ya, I sang my heart out on National Day as I went K-Box with Stan, Kenneth and Rongqiang sans Lancer as he just extracted 4 wisdom teeth. Ouch...

Ultraman Neo has left us. Well, my new colleague left after 4 days on the job. Which means...I'm officially stuck on taking rest on Sunday again till anyone decides to take up the slot. Things are going well lately at work, just that it seems to be quite a quiet season. Hope things will pick up at the holidays.

Personally, life still remains the same. Just that I feel lonely as everyone is busy with their work and studies. It's been a while since I last stared motionless at nothing. Keep thinking of getting some novels to waste time but I know I will also waste money too. Feel like calling people on my contact list but I know this might be a disturbance or harassment to others. Maybe it's time to get started on something I should have started. But then, I'm still alone too. Well, nothing to worry about to those who might be concerned. It's just a period of loneliness till end of year. Holidays are coming. Soon.

Seems like an emotional paragraph above. Just letting out some air. Warhammer Online is coming and by then I definitely wouldn't be alone. Oh ya, I met up with Valentine. It's been a long while since we last walked around together chatting about people and stuffs. Need to get ticket from him for Natsu Matsuri. ^^

Here Comes The "Rooster"

2008-08-06T22:50:00.001+08:00

Seriously, if he got wind that I called him a rooster, I will die miserably for sure. So JN, PLEASE don't say a word!!!

Well, all good things have to end someday. The very person that I recommended to work for us had left us to take a study course. Yup, the boss organized a farewell dinner for Frankie and JN followed along as well. So I wish Frankie good luck and take care of yourself.

So, today, I have a new colleague. Actually, I was rather surprised that he was selected. He left a pretty overwhelming impression on me when he said those words. Boss asked him what kind of games he play and he replied that he plays violent games. Wow, violent games...and not to mention he sports a odd hairstyle which looks like a crown of a rooster. It just occurs to me it might look like a Ultraman crown. And he wears chains and spiked bangles around his arms. But one thing hit me oddly, he looks intimidating but he do not sport any earrings. His ears are not pierced either. I noticed that he's quite aware how people looked at him.

The Singapore World Cyber Games will be starting tomorrow. It will be a busy time for me though. Good luck, my friends!

Night Watch

2008-07-30T04:32:00.000+08:00

It's pretty amazing that I haven't go to sleep at this hour. But something kept me awake for this night. Well, I thought of a lot of things...basically things that need to be taken care of and take note of.

I actually surfed back and forth the websites I had visited or posted. I was waiting for an answer or maybe it became a way to waste some time off. One good thing though for staying up late, I found a new game. Yup, something that will interest Simon and me. Well, actually, only both of us will appreciate the game.

It's been a while since I saw the boys. Just to say that I missed them and wish them good luck to their monster hunting and of course their exams. They are really too engrossed into the game. Hope they are able to catch up on their studies though. Well, they deserve a better life than mine.

Up to now, sleepiness has not taken over me. Time to count sheep. ^^

A Helping Hand

2008-07-27T00:43:00.000+08:00

In the past, I always envy those people who can hire maids to do housework or take care of their families. But it was a fantasy to me since I don't see myself needing a maid to take care of me. It used to be so.

Like I said in an earlier entry, my family got a maid to take care of my father and inevitably our everyday chores. The transition is really overwhelming. As a typical guy, my room is kept messy. But due to the reason there's another person around, I kept it clean. And the maid helps to maintain it that way. I used to throw all my worn clothes into one corner of my room and would wait till weekends to wash them. But now, they will just disappear suddenly and appear as fresh clothes on my bed in one day. I am really enjoying this till a point that I'm already wondering how would life be if our family do not need to employ a maid anymore. Yup, laziness has kicked in.

Sometimes, I even got this feeling that this isn't my room or my home anymore. Because it looks so...clean...and...neat. LOL!

Sick...

2008-07-23T23:40:00.000+08:00

I'm in a bad shape now. I'm down with a blocked and running nose, sore throat and a very nasty cough. All this started when I ate durian. Now I hated myself for eating it. LOL.

Recently, I picked up playing Monster Hunter Freedom 2, a game Simon got me into playing a long time back. But I stopped when Simon was making insane progress over me. I totally forgot the terms and places of the game and needed time to remember them. Sihao and Zheng Xian got me into continuing my inactive character. I taught Zheng Xian about Xlink Kai, a PSP tunneling software which MHF2 needs a lot. This led to a nasty argument somehow. Well, I can't control a person's way of playing a game anyway.

Seems like this entry kinda like masking the fact I've not been updating the blog. LOL. I try to update more. But it's like....I have a lot to say but when I want to transcribe into words, it becomes a blank...

A New Addition

2008-07-12T23:45:00.000+08:00

Let's welcome Mrs Merlinda onboard!! Okay, we got a maid to take care of our father. And it's really odd when someone calls me Sir...

I got a haircut recently and I got really mixed opinions. JN kept saying it looked like some weirdo while Weilun mentioned it looked nice. Too bad, I can't style to the same way my hairdresser did. Not to mention, time is not on my side. But indeed, it's definitely different from the usual cut. The hairdresser told me I can just blow my hair dry and maintain a natural style...I did that and the comb saved me. LOL!

Since now I got a human size alarm clock, I guess I'm able to set my plan in action. Must show some result by the end of November.....hopefully of course. LOL!